Dreams

Happy Chinese New Year

2012-01-22T02:35:00.002+08:00

Chinese New Year is around the corner now. I shall wish everyone to have a very happy time in this Chinese New Year season first. Many people goes back to hometown in this season while other who have no hometown to go back to stays and spend time with family at home. Now, that’s not what I want to talk about but the Chinese money minded mentality.

Do you realize the wishing people commonly use “gong xi fa cai/gong hei fatt choi” means wishing people wealth. Doesn’t it reflect how money minded Chinese people generally are? That’s why in recent years I’ve changed my wishing to Happy Chinese New Year or in mandarin/Cantonese “xin nian kuai le/san nin fai lok”.

Another thing is the very popular ang pow money and gambling in the season. Is this season all about money? No. Concentrate more on your family and your relatives. Spend time with them, foster a good relation. I hope everyone have a good time with their family and relatives. Happy Chinese New Year :)

CNY, it's family time

2012

2012-01-13T04:22:00.001+08:00

It has been quite some time since I’ve last written here. I will start back writing from now on. I’ve always needed this blog to express thoughts that are hard for me to express verbally or through actions to other people. It also serves as the archive of the many thoughts that went through my mind. But most importantly it is where I can write down what I truly think.

Many things went on and 2011 hasn’t really been such a good year. I’ve made many mistakes and didn’t do a lot of things properly but I guess it’s a part of a learning process. I really want to thank people who helped me and all and very sorry to those who through my actions or words got trouble, inconvenience or hurt.

I never realized how much more still needed a push to come out within me. I also didn’t realize how much I could move myself without anyone pushing me. I’m still nothing at this moment but I will not remain so. 2012 resolution, I will grow and no longer be an unpolished gem but a fully processed one. No longer will I need to fake self-induced self confidence but to be truly confident with mile stones to look back at.

2012, it’s not the ending, it’s the beginning

Quiet

2011-10-28T02:20:00.000+08:00

It’s been so many months since I’ve written anything here. I’ve been looking back into the past a lot lately. Thinking back how I was years before. Thinking back the days where I was still sitting in the corner, hiding from being chosen, looking out the window with thoughts flowing in mind, always being emo with things thought up by self, talk only to friends, always doubting myself and keeps everything to myself. Comparing back how much I’ve changed all these years.

True enough I’ve managed to improve drastically but the truth is deep inside those parts of me still remains. I have to constantly reassure myself to keep myself in track. That’s not that big of a problem as long as I can keep it. The thing is, this isn’t enough. I have to go further. I need to stop the doubt that makes me consider. The doubt that makes me delay my words and actions which in turn makes me miss a lot of chances.

You really think I like keeping quiet? Your really think I like to think so much before I speak? It’s my true base nature of doubting myself acting up (Other than the times where I wasn’t paying attention and I haven’t registered what I just heard). Just because I’m quiet I’m neglected, forgotten, unnoticed? Quite screwed up isn’t it? I really can’t stay remaining like this. I’ve always been giving advice and all. In this case I’m really stuck. Can someone teach me how?

Rational

2011-01-09T03:56:00.000+08:00

To have a rational mind is commonly considered to be good. Logically thinking of reasons of things and consequences of actions before making judgments should be the commonly known as right thing to do. Is it really good to look at everything using logic and reasoning?

Human decisions commonly depend on logical and reasoning but also another factor which is feeling. To act purely dependent on feeling might bring about a lot of problems but would acting purely based on logic really be better? Feelings are based on what you desire. Things do not always happen the way it’s logically supposed to. Everything is unpredictable.

To go with the feeling might create some extraordinary results but at the same time things could go wrong and bad consequences could come about. To logically deduce things is good, but sometimes certain risks may prove to be good taken. Not everything has to be a puzzle, using algorithms, formulas or logical reasoning to solve.

Maybe I should stop look at everything like a puzzle

Importance

2010-11-07T20:39:00.004+08:00

To different people, the degree of importance of a specific thing can differ completely. To some people, pride might be of utmost importance but to others pride might not even exist in their dictionary. Therefore, it is important identify what is of importance to yourself and also to those you care about.

To assume what you feel is important will be important to others is a common mistake that many people made. To imply that something is necessary just because you feel is necessary can turn out to cause trouble, dissatisfaction or obstructing the happiness of someone.

Instead if you actually find out what are the things that are considered important to those you care for, you might be able to put a smile on their face with simple actions. For example, some people might feel that appreciation is important and just a word of thank you would put a smile on their face. The same goes to yourself, know what is important to you and strive to get it.

Importance differ among individuals

Leader

2010-10-08T05:03:00.002+08:00

What makes a leader a good leader? It is often quite a big question mark to many as to what must be done in order to become a good leader. The answer is very subjective actually. Different people take different approach to lead others. The paths they take can differ completely but what makes one better than another?

One basic role of a leader is to have people listen to orders given. The approach can differ from being their friend and have them want to help you, to be a dictator ruling in fear or even order by incentives where they listen to get reward. There’s no right or wrong as to what way is used. However, there is suitable and not suitable ways to do it and to different people and in different situations, the effectiveness of each way would differ.

Is just by being able to have people listen to the orders given make you a good leader? If not, what needs to be done? I’ve heard of good leaders are those who produce other good leaders. I’ve also heard of good leaders are those that have good followers. Are any of them the answer? It is subjective to the situation actually.

A leader is a person who guides people to work together and complete objectives. What people actually want to get by having a leader? Have you ever asked yourself what you want? It’s to achieve your aims and goals. You hope someone can guide you to the end of the road of your goals. A good leader helps people achieve them. There are those who need to be a leader to climb to the peak of their mountains, some merely wish to be able to contribute to the society in a way and maintaining a peaceful stable life and others have their own desire.

That is why not everyone needs to be made into a leader. However, a leader can’t possibly be there to guide everyone until they all reach all their goals. A more feasible way is to train them to be independent and mature enough to think of their own way getting there. When you're able to help everyone excel along their own paths, you become a great leader. There's no exception to your own goals as well. That's my idea of a good leader.

There's no one way to be a good leader

Unseen efforts

2010-09-05T18:42:00.000+08:00

Are you the type of person who puts in a lot of effort into things or are you the type that talks more than you do? Are you acknowledged of your existence and actions or are you never really noticed no matter you have done? I used to pour in my utmost effort doing things trying to gain recognition but people don’t realize what I did. Many didn’t even realize of my existence.

I learned if the hard way but I realized it’s never about how much you have done but how much people know you did and of people to actually see it you have to make them realize you first. Action speaks louder than words? People won’t even know you’ve done anything if you don’t start speaking. Very commonly in school based clubs and uniformed unit people who are nowhere near being outspoken are often unseen no matter how actively they participate physically.

If you’re one of those unseen you have to cross the line of silence, if you’re one of those who have been seen and brought up on top take a look at how much people you’ve never heard about have done. Don’t waste the burning spirit up unrealized talents. When the fire dies off, it’ll all be wasted. I crossed the line myself but not everyone could. Help them, and the result may be magnificent.

Action speaks louder than words, only if they’re seen.

Impossible

2010-07-20T23:19:00.001+08:00

Would you believe there’s anything that’s impossible? The truth is probability only approaches zero. It never reaches it. Many people just give up without trying thinking things are impossible.

To be able to accept the results with near zero probability or what people call “impossible” is the thing that’ll make us go further than people. It is only when we attempt to venture towards the “impossible” we’ll be able to reach our greatest dreams. It is only when people do so the world can improve beyond expectation.

However, to believe the “impossible” doesn’t mean to dwell on them and neglect things that we can actually achieve so much easier. I keep wanting to achieve the “impossible” but instead much easier things like scoring in my academics I really don’t have the heart to achieve it. No choice but to force it though.

There’s no impossible, only improbable

Top

2010-06-20T16:42:00.002+08:00

Photo taken from: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=101142&id=100001073822486>

2 weeks ago I received an award of Top Secretary for Omega Leo Clubs in the District 308-B2 for fiscal year 2009/2010. I am certainly not late in posting about it because what I’m about to say isn’t only about the award but more about after getting the award. The joy in getting such award isn’t because of the certificate, the pin badge or the trophy but it’s about the acknowledgement.

So very often we pour in effort, time and money into doing things but get no acknowledgement making the sacrifices that we have. Such award allowed me to feel acknowledged. I have always been thinking that the awards are just a minor plus but I getting it made me realize it gets me going. The award gives me what I needed all these while. That is acknowledgement.

This past 2 weeks I really felt more confidence in myself. I felt the motivation to keep climbing. I no longer feel that the top is a little bit out of my reach. In fact, I finally truly have the confidence that the ‘someone’ that will rise to the top could be me. I can be the someone.

Keep climbing till you reach the top of your mountain

Thoughts

2010-05-27T00:34:00.004+08:00

Every individual have their different ways of views, thoughts and opinions on things. There’s this blog independentspeakers.wordpress.com where a few individual writers in that blog posts what each of them desire to express. Observe the diversity in the thinking and gain insights from the different views of people.

It is not possible for one individual to completely understand another but what we can do is to learn to see things from other views, to look into other people’s opinion on the different things around us. Though we may not always agree on these different views but maybe we can learn at least tolerate and accept that there are these different thinking.

When getting stuck at something whether it is a solution for a project you’re working on or some trouble with love life, try getting opinion from a totally unrelated person. That vast difference in the thinking might just be able to open up a way for you. Sometimes you don’t need a direct answer to your question. You often just need a fresh new point to get your mind moving again and that is where other’s thoughts can help you.

Open up your mind with diverse thoughts

Someone

2010-05-13T22:36:00.002+08:00

What would you think when a big problem that isn’t related to you but affects you happens? I’ll tell you what most people will hope for. Most people will hope for “someone” to do something. Just imagine everyone in the world having the same idea of “someone” will end up doing something. Nothing will happen, ever.

It’s a topic I want to write for a very long time but didn’t have inspiration but recently I’m inspired by a blog post from a friend of mine, Clayton Tan Ju Chiae. In his blog post, http://www.juchiaetan.com/?p=215 he mentions a few selfless people coming of their cars to direct traffic when a massive jam was caused by faulty traffic lights and many impatient selfish drivers when most people are just sitting back in their car hoping for these selfless “someones” to appear.

At many times, we ourselves can be the “someone” that we’re hoping for. Stop thinking about what other people might do. When there’s a problem, step up and do something yourself. Next time when you encounter any problem, don’t think about what “someone” could do but instead think what you can do yourself.

Don’t hope for a someone, be the someone

Reason

2010-05-06T19:57:00.002+08:00

Almost everything has a reason to happen. At many times however in our own actions we are supposed to know the reason but our conscious mind just isn’t sure. That’s in the case of our own actions but for other things like what is the reason some people are smarter, that we do not know of the reason. People then start coming up with their own reasoning according to their own desire. They can sound pretty logic as well. However, the most desirable question to be answered is the reason for our very existence. What is the reason that we live?

This question is a very subjective question. We always have the choice to choose to believe what is the reason we live. I can only say believe as I do not know if there could actually be a planned reason for us to live but I would like to believe not. Life has many things unsure and unknown. If you can justify your reasoning well, people will choose to believe it’s the truth including yourself.

Very often, we choose our own reason

Notify

2010-04-29T04:56:00.004+08:00

Everyone makes mistakes and almost everyone would have a certain negative problem with what they do or the way they do things. These matters might not only cause trouble for themselves but might cause negative effects to other people as well. Often the problem would be the person doing it not noticing these problems themselves and think that nothing happens as there was no reaction or complaint made. As a result, these problems are repeated.

For the sake of everyone, make a sound. Stand up and state the matter if such problem arises. Stop whatever is happening with maybe an excuse me and start stating your case calmly. No harm will be done that way, instead you’ll be doing a favor to everyone with one problem fixed or on the verge of being fixed.

Notify people their problems, not everyone knows it's a problem

Selfish

2010-04-27T23:42:00.001+08:00

Selfish is to be doing everything for the sake of oneself. How about helping people and then environment to make ourselves feel better? Doing good things and avoid the bad to prevent ourselves from feeling the pain of guilt? The outcome may be good for others but the main reason is for oneself. So is it still labeled as a selfish action or is it not?

I have always been clinging on to the theory of I’m doing good things for the sake of feeling better myself. I can take some displeasure myself for others as it might be worse seeing people I care for suffer and I don’t help. But up to that it’s still a point where I’m doing it for my own benefit. What if it’s not? Is it still worth it to sacrifice for others?

Is self or others more important?

Thank You

2010-04-14T22:50:00.001+08:00

I would just like to extend a sincere gratitude to everyone who made my birthday a better day. Firstly to everyone who wished me happy birthday whether through IT means, SMS, call or face to face it means a lot getting the wishes as it signifies that you are not forgotten. Especially call from oversea, it means a lot. Thank you all for that.

Next I would like to thank the high school mate gang who went for the yam cha session where it’s the interval of another friend’s birthday and mine. It means a lot to have people spending that time with you. Thank you. I would also like to thank everyone who bought me present. Actually, I appreciate presents given from the heart most but nevertheless giving them show at least there’s a little bit of heart there. Thanks.

Finally I would like to thank the PJI gang who went and surprise me in my old school while I was playing badminton. I really appreciated it, you people really made my day :). I actually felt a little disappointed thinking you guys wouldn't come but you all did. Thank you.

Talent

2010-04-07T23:57:00.002+08:00

Everyone have their own natural talent where they can develop and do great things with it. Everyone’s talents are different and different people will uncover their talent at different times. However, I can safely say everyone has a talent. After saying all this I have not reached the point of this piece yet. What I want to talk about is not about using the talent but about a choice. Everyone has the choice to not use their talent. Don’t keep thinking about your talent and abilities and choose your pathway according to that. Do what you want, what your heart tells you to.

I made that mistake. I had no direction. I didn’t know what to do, where to go. I chose the safe path by taking the professional course that my considered exceptional mental capabilities will be put into good use. I later realized it’s not what I want. I don’t really have the privilege to just change my course however. I just have to go on but I wish not anyone to make the same mistake I did.

Talent doesn't determine your path

Opportunities

2010-03-24T01:49:00.003+08:00

Many people wait for the right opportunity to do many things like a vacancy post for an employee to get a promotion, a right moment for a confession and maybe even the right economical condition for business or investing. However, many people often miss their first given opportunities and end up waiting a long time for the next. In result, they waste a lot of time just waiting for the opportunity to come.

Ever since young, I’ve always wanted the opportunity to get positions in clubs and societies. I always wanted the opportunity to prove myself capable. Let us take for example when I was in scouts during secondary school. I worked as hard as I can throughout form 1 and form 2. However, no matter how much I do the opportunity doesn’t come. The reason being I didn’t stand out. Every position that I wanted to get I didn’t get the opportunity to. When I was form 4, I finally stood out but in the past people don’t even remember that I was working hard there. Everyone omitted my years of commitment.

All that can actually be changed by the actions I take. If I actually stand up and really go all the way for those things that I want, the opportunities can be created. Don’t wait for opportunities to come to you. Create the opportunities yourself.

Opportunities, when they come, grasp it, when they don't, make it

Gifted or cursed?

2010-02-28T03:10:00.005+08:00

A question came across my mind recently. To have an exceptionally intelligent mind, is it a gift or a curse? I’ll say it’s a gift but it’s not all good. It makes a lot of things more convenient but the powerful mind will start to think about all kinds of things and usually you won’t get really happy from that. My point is “gifted” is not always good, not only for mind but in general.

I’ve been thinking too much on using my “gift” and kept my vision of my future very narrow. I suddenly feel that it’s not what I want. I never knew what I want but I realize that I’ve been looking in the wrong direction all these while. Aims and goals shouldn’t be restricted by the area you’re gifted in. Directions should be set according to desire and not talent.

Gift or curse, it's how you use it.

Lost

2010-02-18T02:52:00.001+08:00

Recently I’ve watched an old movie called ‘Goodwill Hunting’. It was a 1997 movie about a janitor working at MIT who happens to be a genius. He was gifted but he chose not to use his ability for amazing purposes. He did not have any direction as well because he didn’t know what he wants. Along with that was his over consideration of the consequences of many things which made him being afraid to do many things. It really intrigues me because I happen to relate him to me.

Over consideration isn’t hard to overcome but being lost without a clue of what you want really makes things difficult. I keep trying to figure out what I want but I can never find the answer. I’ve said many theories and given many advices to people about getting a direction but the truth is, I’m lost myself. The only thing I can do now is to just impose a stable direction and hopefully along the way I’ll figure out where I really want to go.

Taking the shot

2010-02-07T03:31:00.003+08:00

Everyone should set short term goals at every point of their life and try to take the shots to achieve them. I’ve set my 1st goal of the year and well, I failed to achieve it. I’m not sad nor am I exactly disappointed but now it gets me thinking, now what. This goal I’m talking about is becoming the president of Leo Club of PJI. In this one year time I’ll keep improving myself and have everyone acknowledge me as a good president material.

I may not score this time but at least I took the shot. I seek for advises and comments before the nomination, I nominated myself in the election and gave a speech straight from my heart attempting to get more votes. It’s fine that I didn’t get but I’m glad that I tried. I end up getting my second choice of post, vice president. I actually thought about whether or not to accept if I get that post few days before the AGM. I thought about it very long and came to the conclusion that I need it to keep climbing up in position. However, I would’ve rejected any other position other than that two.

In the past, I’ve always wanted to be a vice president but that’s no longer the case today. I no longer want to be number 2. I want to stand on top. I missed this chance, I really don’t know if I’ll ever get a chance again. I actually have different goals set next year but now, maybe I should change them? I guess I’ll have to spend time thinking and reorganize my plans.

Take the shot, you won’t regret it even it’s a miss

Image taken from http://www.theoakbook.com/ArticleImages/2532_LuckyOliver-4685135-blog-firing_gun.jpg

Death

2010-01-24T03:27:00.002+08:00

The deaths that happened and the things that people do after them these days made me think about the matter of death. To start off I would like to firstly say that all that’s written here will be based on my own point of view. I will not oppose nor reject any views that any other people have. You have your right to believe what you what but I believe that applies to me as well. So please do not use any religious points against me. Your cooperation is very much appreciated.

I will not talk about what happens after death but I don’t really think that matters. I believe all the ceremonies and all that are done after a person’s death is not for the deceased person but for those who are still living to feel better. Do people actually think about what the deceased person wants? I believe what people want is not for everyone to mourn his death or anything close to that. I believe that they wouldn’t want to be forgotten either. I believe that they would want everyone to remember the great things that the person has done and all the achievements of the individual.

No individual can live forever but one’s actions and achievements or creations can. Let us just take for example Isaac Newton. Without him, there won’t be the 3 laws of motion and those 3 laws led to many new inventions and studies. Up till today after so many years, people still know who he is. In fact, people studies about him. This is exactly the kind of legacy I want to leave behind after my death. I don’t know when I will die, thus I have to climb the highest I can at any point of time. I don’t want people do mourn for me nor do all kinds of fancy things after my death. I want to be cremated, have my ashes dumped into the ocean and people to take some time think about all the good things I’ve done.

It’s not the death that matters, it’s the life

Unexpected

2010-01-15T01:47:00.002+08:00

Many things happen beyond our expectation. The picture above is a very good example. Which individual would expect to break their chopstick when using it? I believe none will but that’s what happened when my good friend Tai Kian Min was using it. It really happened beyond the expectation of all 10 people who were around that table. It’s not his fault, but unexpected things like this just happen.

In our daily lives we always encounter unexpected things. We plan schedules and try to follow them but these unexpected happening just happens when we least expect it to and force us to change our schedule. It is right to plan but every plan should accommodate change. Things usually don’t go perfectly according to plan. There are too many factors to consider and it’s almost impossible to consider them all. Which is why, your plan must include the probability of any part of it changing. Just think about it in a bigger scale, I believe you’ll get what I mean.

Every plan should accommodate changes

Another New Year

2009-12-31T04:07:00.001+08:00

New Year resolutions are not a bad idea at all to make. They’re like goals with time limit of one year to achieve. Every year I have one similar resolution. To be better than what I was in the previous years. Every year I try to change myself to become a better person. I know that’s very subjective but I will not elaborate on that. You can define the better in your own way.

A new year is coming soon. The same resolution remains still but the difference now is I know very well how I should change. In the past I’ve changed certain things I never should have but this time, I’ll get it right. It’s about time I get working to achieve everything I want.

2010, where slacking ends

Reflection

2009-12-30T03:20:00.004+08:00

Every year end is a time to reflect on the year. Throughout the year so much has happened. I took up many things but end up quitting all of them as I realize you have to choose. I chose Leo and I have no regrets doing that. It’s like a second family to me. Not forgetting the things I’ve learned through Leo especially after getting appointed as the secretary. Definitely the best post I could have got.

Many of the friends were not often seen anymore since high school. To keep in touch wasn’t hard but how many actually takes the effort to? To my friends who we spent times throughout the year, thanks for the company and I hope in the coming year we could still do the same. To my college friends especially, we spent most of our days together in this year and I think we all enjoyed our moments together where our times were filled with laughter. Take some time and reflect the memories throughout the year. There's many things you'll see.

Without the past, there won’t be a future

My Car

2009-12-25T04:11:00.006+08:00

It’s been quite some time since my last post and my car has been back for quite a while also. So, I think it’s time for me to post up something. The picture above is not my car and most probably i won't have that car but come on, it's Lamborghini, almost every guy's dream car. However however cool a car is, you won't feel it like you do with your own car. With the absence of my car I felt less power in my hands. Holding the steering wheel again is like when you plug the charger to your phone. It charges me back up even if I’m worn out both physically and emotionally.

Driving is real fun don’t you think? I really love driving. It feels great controlling a car on the road. For drivers who always fetch people, what’s so bad about fetching people home? I mean if their house is like far away maybe need to pay toll to get to that’s fine. But if their houses aren’t that far why not? I feel that getting someone safely from one place to another is a joy especially when getting someone back home at night. That’s especially again for people you care. And it becomes very important it includes girls. With car comes responsibilities and this is one of them.

I love driving and I love my car but not driving my car. There’s just a lack on the performance of my car. The acceleration of the car is just pretty slow. I have no complains on its top speed but its acceleration is just too slow. Other than that it’s a pretty fine car I would say.

My car, my greatest companion

Saddening

2009-12-01T01:23:00.003+08:00

Things haven’t really been going very well recently. Emotionally disturbed due to some reasons, lost some stuff and then real shit happened, I crashed my car. As you can see in the picture, my car suffered pretty badly. I couldn’t even start the engine due to some safety feature that doesn’t allow the engine to start when it’s in such bad condition. I actually cried seeing my car like that at that time. I tried to hold it in but the sadness is so overwhelming. To see your own car in such condition is really painful.

I just hope things will turn and I’ll get lucky instead. Camp and trip didn’t turn out that great for me but that’s over. It’s time to work on other things now.

I'm back but my car isn't :(

Action

2009-11-04T00:40:00.001+08:00

Up until today there’s so much I’ve written in my blogs, so many advices I’ve given to people and so many things I’ve said. However, how many of that has been applied by me. It’s not zero, just a very low number. It’s not that I can’t do the things I’ve stated, I just never. You may know how to tell people what to do but when it comes to yourself it’s just different.

At many times people actually know what to do, they just don’t and this is what’s happening to me. Well, what’s done is done and what has not will remain undone. Past can never be tempered with. So what can be done is add action to the words. Do what’s been said. Apply what’s in mind. Lets hope I can.

Do, don’t just talk and think

Achieve

2009-09-23T22:00:00.001+08:00

Everyone has different things that they want to achieve. Achievements doesn’t have to be something really amazing or special. It could be something simple like being happy for one whole day. It doesn’t mean that everyone must aim to become a billionaire, a Hollywood movie star, a world class doctor or anything like that. Some people are contented with having a loving family and stable job. Some other might be contented being able to live a carefree life themselves.

There is almost nothing that can’t be achieved. That especially goes for something that has been achieved by someone else already. Wouldn’t you ask yourself, “If he/she can do it, why can’t I?” I would. In fact, I keep telling myself “If someone will do this why not let the someone be me?” You should never ask whether or not you can achieve something. Instead, ask yourself how much you are willing to put in to achieve what you want to. Talent without hard work means nothing at all.

For the past few years I knew what I want to achieve and I knew I can achieve it. However, I never knew how much I’m willing to give in to achieve that. Today I can say I’ve put in almost nothing at all. I’m far from achieving the big dreams that I have but it’s still highly probable to be achieved. It’s never too late to start working for your aims, goals or dreams. Just throw in your effort and you’ll always have a chance.

Achievement comes with effort

Control

2009-09-03T08:46:00.004+08:00

Machines like the TV could be control by merely pressing buttons on a remote but that will never be the case for humans. Countless people around my age told me that they’re controlled by their parents. Parents trying to control their child well, that’s a very common thing. It always happens but how is it possible to actually control someone? As I see it, it isn’t at all possible. You could restrict people in certain ways. You could stop providing support for someone, trying to hold back someone or try to convince someone but you can never control a person’s actions and decisions.

That is exactly the case for me. I do things that I feel that I should do. I do things that I want to do. I don’t care who’s against me. I can argue for hours with my parents. I scolded my parents countless times for being unreasonable. It doesn’t matter who you are to me. Respect must be earned through actions not relations. The only thing the relations is restricting me is from taking physical actions. Verbally, there's no restriction at all. I can even use vulgarities with no hessitation.

Only one person can control you and that person is none other than yourself. Listen to people, hear others’ advises and think about them. You’re not always right. But when you are, don’t hesitate to stand up for yourself. I’m not asking you to be a rebellious child, please do not misunderstand. It is only how I do things. I’m just saying that if you really do want to be controlled not a single soul can control you.

People can’t be controlled

Choice

2009-08-24T00:00:00.005+08:00

Every step one takes is a choice. That’s how it should be. Nothing should be forced and nothing can be forced. Every single step will always be a choice. That’s the fair thing about human life. Everyone has a choice. To attempt taking away that privilege from a person means to attempt taking away the one fair thing that we all have. However I think a lot of people choose to do that.

Many parents decide for their child. Choosing for them the steps they’re going to take. Choosing for them the path they’re going to walk. Who’s taking the steps? Who’s walking the path? One should always decide for themselves. Don’t ask for anyone to decide for you. The choices are there for you to make, not for others to make for you.

There is no right and wrong choice. If the choice is really what you think is right, it’s a right choice. Everyone has a difference scale and different view on things. What matters is your choice fits yours. There’s no choice that will fit everyone’s but there’s always one that fits your own. I always tell people, it’s your choice. There’s no right or wrong. Right and wrong are merely words created by man. Don't regret upon any choice you made, you don't know what else it affects other than what you can see. Of course, it's also a choice whether or not to take note of what I've written.

It’s always your choice

Opportunities

2009-08-09T21:10:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the school of key officers/RCC meeting/CLD orientation test and as a spirited Leo secretary I went. During the school of key officers, Lion Clayton the RCC told us that we shouldn’t neglect the people right at the corner as that is where the most hidden ideas are. He also told us that he was one of those in the corner and he was approached and is given the opportunity. That triggered me to think. Why? That’s because I was one of the corner people as well.

Ever since young I was shy and I was lacking of self confidence. I’ve always chosen to sit at the back corners where I’m more hidden. However, deep inside of me I’ve always hope that I could be someone. I hoped that one day I could be given the opportunity to be in the limelight. There will always be opportunity hanging around you but most of the time it doesn’t come straight to you. You have to step forward to grab it.

The opportunities I’m talking about are not only limited to the opportunities to take up positions or do work but it applies to every single aspect of the life. I’ve always regretted that I didn’t step forward and take all the opportunities and that is why today I’m no longer the one sitting at the corner. I’m the one sitting in the front row trying to get more opportunities to make up for the things I’ve missed.

Opportunities, reach forth and grab it.

Here we go

2009-07-12T22:04:00.004+08:00

Firstly, to everyone one who doesn’t know, yesterday was Leo Club of Petaling Jaya Integrity’s 10^th Annual Installation and I have been installed as the secretary of fiscal year 2009/2010. To all PJI members, good job well done and do look ahead as we have much more ahead of us in this fiscal year. It’s only the beginning and it will only get better and better.

Before the installation began I fear the event wouldn’t go well. As it started, there were a few problems here and there and thus I felt worried that the problems will go on. The response of the crowd towards the performances weren’t really good as well. I really feared we will end up losing the crowd. When it’s the time for us the new BOD to get installed my fear faded. I’m up on stage and I felt proud and filled with spirit.

The directors we installed first and then the treasurer. And then it was my turn, the new secretary of Leo Club of PJI. I took my step forward and stand tall and proud. And filled with the spirit I have I replied with a loud “Yes, I do.” The VPs and president was then installed and they too replied with spirit. Then it was time for us to prepare for our performance. As our performance was announced the crowd started to cheer. I felt full of energy, filled with spirit and as we walked out the crowd went louder. It was really boosting us up and it felt really high too. The response was amazing and I really thank all the audience for that.

And now, to all current and even future PJI members, let us prepare ourselves for this fiscal year. Let us put in everything we’ve got and get everything we’ve ever wanted together. Together we shall “fishify” ourselves (Term from Lion Alan’s speech in the installation).

PJI, here we go!

True Self

2009-05-27T01:41:00.002+08:00

How many people actually do reveal their true self to everyone? If you think properly humans are actually quite scary because you never know if they’re being true. People pretend to be someone they not or like something they don’t to fit in or even other purposes. Should people just become their true self in front of everyone? Personally, I think one can pretend to a certain extent.

Many people see me as a person who’s brimming with confidence. Ever since young I have always seen myself as a nobody, a useless person. As I grew up I keep talking about things I seem to be good at. Every single time when I fail or when people look down on me I feel freaking screwed up. I cannot lose too much, that’s why I keep boasting everything I’m good at.

Until today, I can see myself somewhere but I still feel damn screwed up being looked down upon. I can lose, that’s what I say and it’s true but I never did say I don’t feel anything when I lose. I need to be amazing and I know I can. That’s what I tell myself to keep going. Today, I believe I can not because I have some kind of special ability but because what and how I see everything.

In other words what I have been doing was acting to be stronger and trying to convince myself I am. It definitely works and I still do need to. However I never try to act to fit in, trick people or anything close to that. I only become what I’m not to change what I am. That is my choice and I won’t advice anyone to do it. I have no regrets doing this but it’s a matter of choice. Not everyone will like doing this so it’s not an advice, it’s just an option.

Can anyone actually show their true self at all times?

Why?

2009-05-14T14:41:00.001+08:00

To make up for not writing for a month I’ll write on my favourite word ‘why’. ”Why?” is a common question that I would ask but if compared to when I was younger I’ve asked much less. Why is it so? It is not because that the curiosity has toned down but it is because I’ve came to realize people just can’t answer you some questions. There is almost always an answer but people just don’t know or refuse to answer them.

To know why things are as they are is the core of understanding. When you understand why things are as they are you will understand more or less anything. Plus, you’ll be able to remember it much easier.

All this while I’ve been looking at everything in the angle of why they are like that. It has allowed me to get acceptably good results in my science & math subjects without studying. It doesn’t require a special mind or anything like that to do it. Anyone could do it. It’s just whether they take the step or not.

Don’t just ask how, enquire why as well

Fools

2009-04-07T17:31:00.003+08:00

As everyone probably knows, yesterday was April Fools Day. It’s the time of the year where we play pranks or trick people and none of us are supposed to get angry. It can also be said as the time of the year when you just can’t really trust anyone. This is definitely true in my class of S4 (TUC SAM January intake 2009).

It certainly makes me think back the past 2 years of form 4 and form 5. The cooperation of the class cannot be seen in those 2 years. This year however we were really into it as a class. We trick people together, get tricked together and laugh at the results as well as our process together. Although we didn’t really succeed in our plans but then I believe we have all enjoyed the process together.

To do stupid things together as a class in our education life is really a good thing. It is at these times we look back and laugh at ourselves together in the future. It is at these times we can still be “childish” and not be commented about it. After we’ve grown up into adults, the society will start to look down upon these kinds of foolish acts. But it is these foolish acts that give flare to our lives.

Here are some of our preparation process although we failed in all attempts and instead got tricked back. There's no video of tricking process though.

And here's a video of our class's foolish act. April fool videos by How Ken Lee, the video below by Chong Kian Seong.

Be a fool when you should and know when you shouldn't.

Luck

2009-03-15T01:34:00.002+08:00

Do you believe in such thing as luck? SPM results were here just a few days back. I wouldn’t say it’s due to luck but I guess indirectly it plays a part I got 4A only. That’s a very indirect example of luck but there are many more direct examples of luck.

During one jungle camp I went with the scouts I shared tent with 3 other friends. I left my wallet in my other pants which was on my bag. Next morning, my bag was found about 15 meters away from the tent with everything outside of the bag. The tent was cut open and my bag was taken when 2 of my friends were actually sleeping in the tent. That was the 1st unlucky case.

Just yesterday I was in Genting Highlands with my college mates. 5 of us were sleeping in 1 room. 3 out of 5 had our wallets on the same place (On top of a table). Beside the wallet were camera and handphones. We slept at 2-3 am and next morning about 10+ we woke up and 1 of my friend found my wallet inside the plastic bag containing newspaper outside of our room door. Inside my wallet was everything except cash. Everything around my wallet remains untouched.

I’ve always lost in betting every time I did so. That night was one of those rare nights where I actually won although it’s only a few bucks. Next thing I know, I’ve lost cash and had to borrow from my friend. Who stole my money? Is it an insider or a worker or someone else? I shall not have any conclusion on that. Well, I don’t have anyway to identify my cash so no point anyhow. There’s no way to find the culprit.

However, when you’re too high or too low you’ll somehow rebound the opposite way. It’s a matter of balance. Bad and good have to come together to maintain a balance. One may have a streak of 1 type of luck but next would be a streak of the other. This is what I feel because it somehow seemed to always happen. But then again, luck will affect things but it doesn’t determine the results.

Luck, it plays a part.

Picture from http://quantumquests.com/Images/4%20Leaf%20Clover.jpg

Destiny

2009-03-01T17:23:00.004+08:00

It’s been a while since my last post. Let’s go through things by time. I shall start with Valentines Day. A few of my friends told me they felt discontented due to not being able to even see the people they want to on that day. At most time things never go the way you want it to. You just have to keep trying in different ways. You might no succeed but at least you tried. I’m quite contented having done what I wanted to do on that day after a few change of plans.

Moving forward and it’s Leo Idol. Failing the audition is nothing as it’s quite expected. Being insulted by one of the judge who from the way he comments I could see that he’s not really qualified as a judge is pretty pissing off. Having my friend who was good almost not going through to the Selangor finals we almost wanted to screw the judge.

I shall talk about that particular friend of mine, Christopher Saw now. He almost didn’t get to the finals but with a little bit of luck he actually went through. The following day was the Selangor finals and he then tries to get songs for it. Me, Chong Sheng and Chien Lung promised to help him out if he passed and we did. Around 9.40 in the morning we went to his house, listened to his song, gave comments and help him find the minus 1 music for his song. After that we went to Chong Sheng’s house to dress him up. Except for the shirt is a little bit too big it’s cool. When we were heading to Chong Sheng’s house we realized he left his lyrics at home and so we thought it’s okay cause we can print in Chong Sheng’s house but there were some technical difficulties and printing was a problem. In the end it was printed anyway.

He was the only finalist who hasn’t arrived at that time and so I quickly drove there and we paid for some expensive parking. About 30 minutes before the competition started he came out to practice his lyrics while 3 of us style his hair for him. Then the competition start and there were a few contestants who screwed up or chose the wrong song. He himself suddenly stopped at the last versed and paused for a while due to the lost of rhythm. It was forgiven however cause even artist has this kind of mistakes but they know how to cover it up with their experience. And then it was the announcement of the second round contestants (2 people fighting for 1st place). Situation became tense, and Chris went through! We were all freaking happy at that time.

Chris couldn’t remember the lyrics for swear it again and that’s when CS suggested to him the song when you say nothing at all by Ronan Keating. Chris wasn’t sure about the lyrics for the second verse and so we went to find the lyrics for him in the mall. CS and CL then went to the Karaoke Box to copy the lyrics. After that I touch up the lyrics by listening to the song and then CS sms-ed the lyrics to Chris. In the end he WON! And he’s going for the Finals! Won't you call that destiny? I would.

Chris with his trophyThe Champion's trophy

Going on and it’s the Leo Club of PJI’s Incoming Board list. With no obstacle at all I’m now the proud incoming secretary of the club. I was an Interact for 3 years, one year a membership director and then switched to Leo and now the secretary. I missed out a lot on those 3 years I wasn’t a Leo but I also get to see many things I couldn’t if I was a Leo. I call that destiny as well.

Destiny, it's unexpected

Hard Work

2009-02-10T22:52:00.002+08:00

Success requires hard work. That’s a well known fact but to actually have the will to put in the hard work for something you don’t really like isn’t so easy. I haven’t actually did put in any hard work yet. I’ll start very soon though. It’s really not so easy if you’re not interested. Interest is a very big motivation towards a person. This is exactly why people say choose a field that you have interest in to study.

Up till now I have always relied on my natural abilities. I can’t really identify what I have achieved through hard work. It’s not the I have never put in hard work in things I do but the hard work I put in has no result but instead things I do with purely talent sometimes has. Through them I have become more and more confident with my ability but it seems like arrogance came with it.

Arrogance isn’t really a problem at least from my point of view. So sorry if my arrogance cannot be tolerated but it’s a permanent change. With confidence and talent what lack is only hard work. I still haven’t figure out how to get the will to put in hard work but I believe I’ll work out something soon.

Talent alone is not enough

Chinese New Year

2009-02-01T04:18:00.002+08:00

The start of a new year,
Based on Chinese calendar,
I hope it rocks,
The year of the ox,

Families gather a day before,
Gathered all in the dining hall,
Surrounding one single table,
All for one reunion dinner,

Home to home people visit,
Seeking their friends and relatives,
Even those who are out of town
With gifts and red packet going around,

Many give the blessing of wealth,
Many others the blessing of health,
But is it more than happiness and fun,
Well that is what I wish everyone.

Happy Chinese New Year. Although I’m a bit slow to have this post but well, better late than never. I hope everyone will have a happy year. I think happiness is still the most important thing people should have.

Happy, that's what we need to be

Time

2009-01-14T17:56:00.002+08:00

Time is managed by people. There are people who are busier and people who are less busy but nonetheless people usually won’t be busy 24 hours. People set how busy they are. They choose what to take up and slot in their schedule. I never write for so long because I choose not to put blogging in my schedule. I rather use the time for a nap due to the pretty tiring college life.

Time is a limiting factor for people. You can never have enough time to take up everything you want. You always have to place priorities. My priority is my studies currently due to my aim of TER 99+. 2nd in the priority list would be L.E.O. LEO! Roar roar roar! There are other priorities as well but these 2 are always more important. You always have to choose what you want to put your time in. You can’t have everything, you always have to choose. So just choose 1 and be excellent in it.

People always have to manage their time to get their works done. There are 4 types of things to do. They are important and due soon, not important but due soon, important but not due soon and not important and not due soon. Which is the do 1st and which is the do last I’m sure everyone knows but which is 2nd which is 3rd? The 2nd one to do would be those in the important but not due soon list. The not important things shouldn’t be bothered until you finish your 1st and 2nd list. Always try to keep your 1st list empty by doing your 2nd list earlier.

Time, you just have to manage it right

An End to a Beginning

2009-01-02T20:01:00.003+08:00

If you think I’m one day late for the New Year post you’re wrong. I have to wait for the day to be over to do it. The New Year’s Eve was good. It could be better, but it’s good. Thanks for trying to help and sorry for disappointing you all but it’s tough, I hope you guys understand. If you don’t get it means you’re not supposed to. What’s most important is actually not the place or what you do, it’s the company. The company you have greatly influences how much you enjoy something. As for Lung, congratulations even tough you couldn’t have her company for the countdown but there are many more years for you to do so.

I’m glad to have the company of those with me during the end and the beginning. Thanks for the company. The beginning of the year was good with the fireworks and all but after that, it’s pretty frustrating. I wasted I think 7 bucks trying to call people to make sure everyone have no problem getting home. Wasted I think over an hours just to settle everything. Finally everyone’s transport is settled and it’s time to get moving. Drove two girls home and then we guys went for a mamak session.

As usual it was eating, drinking and talking. There’s nothing much to elaborate on there. After that due to a brilliant suggestion from one of the genius, we went for a CS session in T-Bun. Finished at 5 something and 5 decided to overnight at my house. And so we fetched some people home and head to my home. We had a little discussion on the eve and 4 went to sleep while I and Chong Sheng talked the whole night. Minutes after the 8a.m. Jun Hsien woke up and we woke everyone else up. We went breakfast like zombies as all of us were real tired except Chong Sheng who was a bit high of not enough sleep.Guys at T-Bun

After that went home took my bath and wasted part of my day sleeping. Went out for about 40+ minutes near my house and went home did usual stuff and wasted the end of my day from about 9.30 sleeping again accidentally. Basically my 1st day was quite wasted and it’s time to catch up. No regrets going for the countdown though. Even though I’m one day late, EVERYONE HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

A new year a new idea

Ending

2007-12-23T01:06:00.000+08:00

There will always be an end for everything. For this blog of mine, it is now. This post will be the last post of the blog. Never will you see a new post anymore in this waiyew.blogspot.com url. The age of 16 will end in a few days time. 2007 will soon end and begins the new year of 2008.

Endings for different things cause different feelings to appear. For example a sad feeling will appear when something good ends while a happy feeling appears when sufferings end. The end of this blog gives me the feeling of completion. The record of thinking from the happenings this year is over.

Since it’s the end, I wish not to write so much. I will now officially end this blog, LIFE according to a 16 year old.

End
Yu

Finale

2007-12-11T22:58:00.000+08:00

A lot I have written in this blog. This blog marks the things I have learned from everything that resolves around me. Things that happened to me, things that happened to my friends and also things that never happened but I felt. It contains my feeling and teaching. The year is coming to an end and with it this blog will end as well. This blog has yet to end though. It will only end by the end of the month. Until then, probably there won’t be anymore posts but, who knows?

I’m going to stop not because I’m running out of ideas. Not because there’s nothing going on in my life anymore. It’s just that the time for the end has come. This blog marks my 16 year old life and will go no further. It will remain and continue to be here to let anyone who wants to read. I certainly will come back and read my own works of the past. Not just to humor myself nor think back my past but to remind myself of all advices that I give to others.

Often one seeks advice from someone more experienced or wise but how many of the answers one gets isn’t something one already knows. Many things we already know but at many times we choose to ignore it or we forget it. This is why I would read what I have written myself as often I can find many things useful that I have forgotten. You can often seek answers from your past. Even this can be found from my past works.

There were actually times where I’ve forgotten why I wrote this blog. I started off as an expression of my emotions. I continued on to writing lessons of life. Why did I write them? I actually hoped it can help people. But then I never found out is that objective reached? I can’t see anyone giving any proper comment at all. I just wish someone would actually write a comment about what I have written so far.

I hope now that this blog is coming to an end, at least someone would bother to fulfill my wish. I just wish someone could speak from the bottom of their heart about their opinion on my blog, that’s all. Is that so hard? I mean, you can even write as anonymous. Why can’t anyone actually do it? Well, if none actually bothers it’s fine. No matter what, this blog will end by the end of the month.

End
Yu

Phases

2007-12-01T19:25:00.001+08:00

It seems there aren’t really anymore people who want to read my works anymore. Is it? Of course I don’t hope that this is true but well, I can’t seem to see any signs of people still reading my work anymore. I’m considering whether to continue on writing actually. Well, decision will be made depending on what goes through my mind and what happens to my blog in the next few weeks. Well, I’ll just go on with my post now. The idea of this post is taken from another blog but it’s only the idea not the contents.

There are many phases in a person’s life. In these different phases they change, they mature, they feel different things. The first phase from a baby to a kid none actually remembers their lives as a baby. What actually goes through a baby’s mind is not known. As a kid grows towards a teenager physically growth like pimples and sudden growth of height usually happen. Thinking of course changes as well. Well, 1 of the things is the attraction of girls will just suddenly appear to them. Their view on many things will change as well.

Within the teenagers age there’s still 1 phase which is the form 4 phase. Many things change again in this phase. Many things will happen to change a person in this phase. Not only things around us will affect the change but the mind itself will change. The view on things will change. These changes are different from the past ones. This phase is actually the pre-adult phase. This phase actually prepares one for the next phase of change which is the adult.

There’s nothing I can say about that phase as I have not gone through it yet. All I know is there’s a very high chance that one’s view will be different once more. Well, all we can do is actually wait for that phase and see what it does. There’s no point worrying what will change and what will not. Changes might be good and might be bad but no matter what learn to see its good side. I have not been able to take the changes at all but through time and through experience many things have become capable.

Within this form 4 phase things changed more than once for me. Every change that occurs, everything that happens matures a person. Till now, everything I see, everything that happens make me think, makes me feel something. Looking back at things I’ve seen before a different feeling, a different message can be felt and can be seen. Through this phases one doesn’t grow smarter or more rational, one grows more mature.

The year has not ended yet until now. There’s still one whole month more. None can ever predict what will happen the next 30 days and how will it affect us. The things that happened have inspired me to start this blog. There’s no doubt it’s possible that something happens and make me lose my interest to continue on. Will it? Will it not? None can tell. The future is unknown to us, we’ll just have to be prepared to face whatever comes next.

Be prepared for the unknown future.

End
Yu

Barrier

2007-11-30T01:50:00.000+08:00

It's been long since I've last posted. Ideas will never stop flowing through one's mind so that point is definitely off. I write posts according to the thought flowing through my mind when things happen, change or anything. Things like that will never stop so that point is gone as well. The reason I stopped for so long is because many things that went through my mind has been things I wish not to disclose to public. The year will end soon and a new beginning is coming. Not only will the year be new many things will. Not to mention, even myself will probably change. Might elaborate on next post now lets get on with current post.

People form a barrier on other people. Barriers are formed both intentionally and unintentionally at different times and situations. Some people choose to form barrier to keep distance from negative people for example. This is what known as an intentional barrier. Unintentional barrier meanwhile would be something like maybe people with their ex couples even though it doesn’t apply to everyone. Well, the important thing is the point is understood.

To have barriers forming around you has its good and bad. Good is people won’t be able to harm you or influence you and bad is you can’t really get friends. Well, to have barriers is fine but not to keep it on at all times is very important. Not having a barrier wouldn’t be bad either as long as you keep your own stand and beliefs. To keep distance without forming barrier is possible actually. It simply means to be friends but not hang out together.

Barriers aren’t only for the whole of a person. It can be only working to block your mind from others. There are many who choose to keep their mind within their own barrier not letting anyone see through it. Most people who are like this have a different thinking compared to an average person. It might not be of great thinking but it’s definitely different.

Personally I somehow kind of have a barrier confining my own thoughts and blocking others from knowing. To keep all of the thinking to you isn’t a very nice thing to do. At some point there will be a feeling of loneliness as there’s none who really understands you. Another thing is you’ll feel like letting it out but some things you just don’t want to let people know. That point is where I choose to write diary.

Points where I want to let people know I actually choose to write it out. At many times I am unable to say out what I want to. It may be because of I don’t know how to say or I don’t dare to say. Due to being unable to express self through speech I resort to express myself through writing. It’s not that I couldn’t talk properly or have trouble thinking of what to say but it’s just I don’t dare to speak and also I wouldn’t speak if I’m not sure of what to. That’s what forming my barrier, it’s not that I want to.

End
Yu

Advices

2007-11-07T21:45:00.000+08:00

People always get to a point where they do not know what to do. At these times they often seek for help from people, books or other sources. Actually, anyone can give good advices. The only reason one cannot give advices is the situation cannot be fully understood or the person’s mind is clouded. Actually the advices given by others can easily be thought out by one self. The reason one does not get to do so is because when being in the problem itself, people cannot think properly.

The advices given by others actually may come out as an advice one has given to others before. It’s actually quite normal for that to happen. It’s just because other people have a clear mind while the person in it do not. There are actually many things I have written in this blog which I have forgotten. As I go through my own blog I can see a lot of things I have not done myself. Just as an example I’ll say about the self-confidence point. One of my best points is actually the self-confidence. I’ve written that before, I’ve told myself that before and I’ve told others before but there are times I forget about it. Having no self-confidence I’m left as an ordinary or maybe below average person in certain things.

Another point that cannot be left out is to say is easier than doing. Many advices can be given but how many can be done by the person who says them? There are things that are easier for some to do and harder for some as well. Even though you can do it doesn’t mean others can. It’s not only the ability and skill that affects it but also the mind. Though there are ways to overcome them but for many cases it requires quite an amount of time and also opportunities to do so.

To conclude what I said, at troubled times always try to clear your mind or just seek for help. Refreshing your memories on your past ideas or advices to others may come in handy as well. But no matter how hard things are for you to do there won’t be a ‘can’t’ it’s always a can, only maybe there are other things needed for it to be done. Writing down your thoughts and ideas like what I’m doing now is very good as well. It may help other and it may help you in the future as well.

Your past may teach your present.

End
Yu

Teaching

2007-11-03T21:59:00.000+08:00

Teaching doesn’t only apply on education though. Teaching also includes the teaching of religion, way of life and things like that. There are different styles of teaching by different kinds of people. Some may choose to just make people remember, some may choose to teach by punishment and reward way and some may even choose to tell them their own story or experience. There are other methods of course but the best method is definitely by telling them the logic so that they understand why.

People who do not know about thing will ask why. Reasons are very important for one to decide whether or not to follow, apply or even remembering. Many people do not understand this principle and just keep saying the surface of things like don’t this, don’t that or that’s not right, this is right. They just neglect the very important thing which is ’why?’. That is definitely the most important thing to be told if you want people to follow, apply or remember.

If we go into the education world, many teachers tend to neglect telling student the reasons things happen. Maybe it’s because they themselves don’t know, maybe they don’t bother or maybe they just don’t realize how important it is. I do not know the reason but I can assure you by telling the reasons the students will do better. There are good teachers who do not neglect this fact of course and the difference of the effectiveness of their lessons can clearly be seen.

On the religions, I do not wish to touch as religions are very sensitive issues and I fear I might offend someone or cause small commotions. Therefore, I will go straight to the teaching of life. For parents, many parents do not know that by punishing and scolding the children will not change. In fact, many children tend to be rebellious. They’ll just do the opposite of what you tell them to do. How many children are rebellious towards their parents I do not know but I can definitely say I am a rebellious person.

There’s just no use telling me things without reason. I’ll just take it as crap if the reason is untold. What I require is a logic that I understand and can accept. The logic of what I’m saying is people remember the reasons or logic better. Humans are intellectual beings. We can use the logics and reasons to create things. Pure remembering and applying is not good enough. The situation differs every time and therefore there will be changes required but with the same logic or reason. That is why we have to answer the ‘why?’ every time.

Don’t just tell people how, tell them why.

End
Yu

High? Low?

2007-10-21T23:23:00.000+08:00

There are many things that go high and low around us. It may be the seriousness or number of problems, the spirit we have, our confidence or even the expectation of our own ability. Problems will definitely go high and low, it’s an unavoidable fact. Our spirit however goes high and low as it is affected by other factors which are usually problems. Confidence goes the same way as well accept it is usually affected by the things we hear or see instead of problems. Now we’ll go to the expectation of own ability. It goes high and low affected by our own actions. We can truly observe our ability when we truly do that thing.

Recently I’ve went for the JOTI event for Petaling district in Sri KL primary school. I am the representative of my troop due to my troop leader being a JOTI crew for the event. At the same time I was also the PL of my patrol in the camp. It is not the first time for me being the leader of something but I still can’t do it properly. I once again failed thoroughly as a leader. I have a very big problem which shouldn’t exist in leaders. I have a problem talking with stranger especially girls. In other words, I’m a very shy young man. For all this years this problem of mine has been a obstruction for me to becoming a leader and also being friends with girls.

Maybe a month ago I was thinking of myself as a person with very high capabilities. Through a few things in this month, this expectation of mine had a drop, a drastic drop. I realized what problems I’ve been having since I was small still exist till now. My mind was totally disturbed due to this. My emotions are having a little problem as well. In other words, my mood is like low, bad. I will still try to remain normal but if I do anything stupid, turn angry or serious suddenly or something like that please tell me but please forgive me. Of course, I would definitely apologize sincerely if I know I do wrong but you got to make sure I know.

Different people have different good and bad points. That’s true, very true but being shy and you’re definitely at a disadvantage, a very big one. There’s just countless of things that require communication among different peoples whom you’ve never even heard of in your life. Can’t talk to them? Sorry, that’s it. You’ll be failing your tasks because of that. The effects of failing them might range from nothing to losing things. People always tell me shyness can be conquered as you grow older, as time passes. Until this day, maybe I have improved but I am definitely still shy.

Different matters just appear in our lives. They may appear to be different in the degree of its importance in different people’s eyes as well as in different conditions. For example the matter of being shy, maybe it isn’t that big of a deal in some people’s opinion but as a person who wants to be head, it’s definitely important. I got to go through this obstacle to be able to become a good head next time. Basically it’s like that. So regardless of what others say, try your best to eliminate the matter as soon as possible.

Never think of low, just get it all high.

End
Yu

Poetry No.2

2007-10-07T16:54:00.000+08:00

Rainbows

Rainbows in the night,
Rainbows in the day,
Rainbows are still at sight,
But their beauty is not the same,

When rainbows appear everyday,
It’s just multiple colors in the sky,
If rainbow appears never again,
It's magnificent beauty that just went by,

People dream of touching the rainbows,
People dream of walking on rainbows,
People dream of dancing in rainbows
But none dream of seeing a rainbow,

Rainbows are known as a magical beauty,
A beauty that appears all over the world,
Tales, stories, poems of this theme,
Very commonly written and told,

Rainbow Bridge a place for spirits,
Spirits of animals that lost their life,
A story that has gain popularity,
A story that might just be a lie,

Sunrays shining through water droplets,
An arc in the sky multicolored,
Magical stories are still created,
Where rainbows are the bridge to heaven,

This is my 2nd poem for public. It's still just a poem for interest so yeah, it's just for fun and to fill time usefully.

Different

2007-10-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

Every single person is different. There won’t be two people you can find that will be exactly the same. Even so, people still tend to categorize others in large groups. For example, there are modern people and old school people, playful look and professional look, cool people and lame people and many other different categories. Of course, there is a type called hybrid. This type is the type that mixes two different or opposite types in 1. Hybrid doesn’t mean it belongs on both side though. It’s actually a totally different type that exists by itself.

From the meaning of it hybrid sounds like a type that is of two types but it’s not the way it seems actually. The elements of the two types will mix together and create a new type and not just 2 in 1. In the end, hybrid won’t actually be completely accepted anywhere. Of course nowadays it won’t be that much of a problem. I mean, you won’t see a person gets ignored or disregarded just because he is of a different type. Usually people are treated that way either by people who are immoral or because they are immoral themselves.

The same principle applies on friends. People who always hang out with more than 1 group of friends will end up being in no group at all. From what I know, people who are lost and don’t belong anywhere tend to want to become acknowledged by everyone. They will tend to be very spirited to making people acknowledge them as “someone”. Hybrids and people who have no group are this type of people. People who are both are of course worse.

I believe that hybrids are actually better in many ways. Everything has its pros and cons. That’s the way the world works but they are imbalance at most times. In this case I believe hybrids have more pros than cons. Humans are very special, at many times we will automatically take the relevant characteristics rather than the irrelevant ones. Which is why I think hybrid will be better. If you watch something like bleach, the hybrids are the ones that are exceptionally strong.

Well, after all I believe that I am kind of a hybrid and I also believe that I am especially good. As I mentioned in 1 of my previous post, I am also a person with no group. But then what I want is to be acknowledged as someone different and great. It’s my desire to be different, to be special. Even though everyone is special, in normal cases people will still categorize you. What I want is to be so different that none can find any category to put me into.

Well, the main point is not that actually. It is certain that every single one of us is special and we should be proud of being different, being special. We shouldn’t try to be like others, we should concentrate in being our special self. Rather than trying to following the footsteps of a great person, make the greatest of your own. No matter how good you do following the person, people will remember you as a mimic of the person and not yourself. So be yourself and bring our the greatest of you.

Don't follow the greatest person, be the greatest of yourself

End
Yu

Aims and Dreams

2007-09-30T01:15:00.000+08:00

After one week and here I am writing again. What is a difference between a dream and an aim? A dream is usually just what people hope to someday achieve or have while aim is what they plan to work towards. Not all dreams remain a dream. There are cases where dreams becoming an aim someday. Things that are once thought impossible might be found out as something possible someday. Many existing things nowadays are here because of people’s dreams. For example, people once thought that a machine flying is impossible and now people are flying here and there like it’s a part of life.

I absolutely agree that people should at least have a dream. Whether or not it becomes an aim is another matter but it’s still good to have a dream. Even so, one must not be too obsessed on dreams and forget about aims. It’s more important to have an aim than to have a dream. One should look far beyond what the current logic tells but it is important to look in the world with logic as well. It is very unlikely that you can find something out there. That is why you have to get an aim which is far more probable than a dream. Of course, the best is having both of them.

People tend to have multiple aims and dreams they want to achieve. It is not wrong to have multiple aims but there must be a primary one. If there isn’t an aim that is primary, you’ll either end up in confusion or your spirit, effort and everything will be divided. With a primary one, you can put in full force in working towards the aim and you’ll be certain where you want to go. Other aims are just to act as a backup incase anything goes wrong. So basically it’s like just having 1 aim and switching it when something is making you unable to achieve it.

Dreams are different in this case. Multiple dreams aren’t a bad thing. Even having hundreds of them wouldn’t cause any problem. In fact, the more dreams you have, the higher is the chance that there would be one becoming reality. Even if none of it becomes reality it wouldn’t do anything to you so why not just have more of them. I’m not telling people to get more of it though. Even I myself don’t have many dreams. I only care about the most desired dreams of mine. Others I just let it be forgotten. I feel there’s no point even if others become true because it’s not like it’s one of the most important things. But then again, it depends on people so you should decide for yourself

I have multiple aims actually and currently the 1^st aim is to be a successful educator. Even so I don’t want to finalize my aim with just that. I want to do invest or do my own business with the money I earn. As I get more money I want to just invest and make an early retirement. Basically my final aim is to make an early retirement with enough money to invest in something I don’t need to always look into. In other words I want to retire young with money still coming in. If money is not enough or it’s time to settle down but there’s nothing to do then I’ll go back into the working world after the many years of enjoyment. The working world must be the field I like of course.

Dreams I do have more than one but I guess I’ll only mention 1. There’s 1 dream that’s been always in my mind lately, the dream to be a great man respected by the world. I always imagine that I am a special person born with special abilities with a special mission to achieve. It’s not like a hero saving the world from evil of course. That would be a small kid’s imagination. I imagine that maybe I can somehow make people realize something or maybe do something. For example, I can somehow make people become scared of something like global warming and everyone follow the ways to save the world from something like what happened in the movie “The Day After Tomorrow”. A greater but very much less probable example would be I’m able to change people’s thinking and stop doing sins and thus creating a utopia.

Even though that dream of mine has quite a low probability to become reality, I believe that someday I will be “somebody”. I believe my thinking and ability is amazing enough to bring me far and make me become “somebody” one day. This is not a dream but neither is it an aim, it is a belief. Now tell me, do you think my belief is true? I’m serious. I really want people’s opinion on this. Please give me your opinion whether it’s good or bad.

Aim with logic, dream without.

End
Yu

Privacy & Friends

2007-09-22T01:34:00.000+08:00

Everyone requires privacy even towards their closest people in life. Most things you would want to express it out but there are some which you do not wish anyone to know. Some people would choose to still tell it out but as an anonymous person and not as themselves. Most of my matters I choose to tell my friends but there are still matters I keep to myself. I’m a person who requires serious privacy. I’ll feel very annoyed when people invade my privacy. No matter there is anything I’m hiding or not the act of invading my privacy is enough to make me very annoyed.

Everyone has their own mindset and thinking. There are reasons a person keeps things as a secret. Invading will do no good. It will only make the person create lies, causing conflict and things like that. People have best friends where they share ups and downs together but no matter how close they are they are not you. They won’t completely understand you no matter what. There will still come to space of your own no matter how close you are to your best friends.

To be honest I don’t believe that anyone knows all the things I do and the things I think about. Usual people have a group of people where they stick with most of the time but that is something I don’t have. I mix around within too many groups and because of that, I end up belonging in none of the groups. From one way you may be seeing that I will be able to join in a group no matter where I go but the concept is not true actually. I usually find myself walking alone.

One of the very weird things is the people who I take as my best friends aren’t the people I hang out most with. But that states a point. Best friends aren’t people you hang out with most, they’re the friends you care and cherish most. Even though people have their best friends but friends who are not best friends are not far behind. I believe friends should be people who care about each other and not just the people you hang out with. Even so at certain time there comes to a point where only a side takes the other as a friend and a 1 way care appeared. Nothing is wrong with that except the person would wish it is 2 way.

Thinking back the past, my closest friends has kept on changing. One of my previous best friends is still my good friend but it seems like there’s a distance now. Until today I have new friends and old friends but then my greatest friend is still my standard 4 friend, Han Liang. Even so, we walk different paths and head to different points. What we aim for is different and thus we won’t be moving on the same path. But as I said, best friends don’t have to be the people you cling with always but the people you care most.

Actually there was I point I actually thought I found friends I can share all of my thoughts spend most of my moments with. Ended up I screwed it up myself. Stupid thing I did right? Full story will be untold in the blog and untold even if you ask me unless I want to tell you. Almost everyone I’m willing to tell to already know the story so that’s it.

End
Yu

Exam Tension

2007-09-19T23:46:00.000+08:00

Under normal circumstances I believe a person would at least feel a slight tension the day before an exam. The weird thing here is I do not feel any at all. As you can see, the time I am writing this post is 10 minutes to 12am the day before my history and BM end year examination. No doubt the people who have memorized the facts have the possibility of having no tension but I have not even started studying for history. It’s amazing that I can still relax as I continue on to write this post.

Well, why is it that I can still be so relaxed then? In this year I’ve began to have self confidence, no doubt about that. The thing is because of having to high confidence I began to become more arrogant as well. I started to realize that recently and I will try to stop this arrogance of mine. I rarely become humble and I don’t really like being humble. I feel there’s no point doing that, in fact I feel there’s possibility that being humble might shake my confidence.

As I reach this paragraph it’s already 12 o’clock. In one of my previous post I have said confidence doesn’t come from nothing. Without effort confidence will not exist. Until now no effort has been made on my history. That means I can’t have confidence in passing the exam. Does that mean I’m just aiming to fail? Have I become that screwed up? No way is that going to happen to me. The reason I can still relax is because of this night.

Last minute effort is definitely not advisable and the effectiveness of it has a limit. For the past 3 year (from form 2) I have been doing last minute revisions for history, the revision of 1 textbook in 1 night. Definitely to get an A for history with that kind of effort is near 0% but the thing is I do not aim for A. I do not aim grade A for every subject, I aim different grades for different subject. I aim according to how much effort I am willing to put in. I do not aim for what I cannot achieve, I only aim for what I believe I can. Being a realistic person might not be bad but having a dream is a good thing. It is by believing what seemed impossible that made the technology we have now exist.

It’s about time for me to end my post and begin my 1 textbook in 1 night revision. No matter how is my emotion and feeling now it doesn’t matter at all. My self-confidence will still remain even if I’m super sad. But then again, even though I have confidence I may not be behaving like usual. Well, I don’t think that matters. My point is, take exam without tension. Just be chilling like me (chilling like me only, not effort like me).

Exams are nice if you look at it in the right way.

End
Yu

Poetry

2007-09-16T20:06:00.000+08:00

16 Years of Life

Sitting quietly listening to a clock,
Listening as it goes tik tok tik tok,
Listening to the going by of every second,
Seconds that goes by every now and then,

Reminiscing the past I could never go back,
Events of the past that I can never reset
Regrets I have, satisfactions I had,
Many things happened in this life I led,

I begun with nothing turning to a baby,
Becoming a kid and changing to a teen,
Countless feelings in these 16 years,
Joy, Sorrows and not forgetting fears,

16 years and it’s the year of form 4,
Recent it may be but it’s the best of all,
A year of experience, a year of emotions,
Creating a man who could build up a nation,

Maybe all are destined by God,
But it doesn’t mean we can just sit and rot,
It’s chances that are given by the Lord,
But it’s for us to choose to take it or not.

Things are gained, things are lost,
Many things changed including my thoughts,
It’s due to all the experience I had,
Experience that I will never forget,

Countless memories have flown away,
Some don’t even last for a day,
But these memories of age 16,
They will remain with me for eternity.

This poem is just something I created out of interest. If it is compared to any true poems I believe this poem is like nothing at all. My poem is very straight forward and doesn’t use symbols and stuff. Doing something doesn’t mean you have to be good in it. The most important thing is actually you feel better doing it. I may not be a good poet nor a good writer but I at least I feel better expressing myself through writing.

It doesn't matter if you're good if you're happy.

End
Yu

Of the Inactive Period (Part 2)

2007-09-13T22:40:00.000+08:00

Many things went through my mind in this period of time. These thought were of the past, the present and also the future. As experience is gained through different events and activities in this period of time, I looked back and also look far forward. The events that happened in the past, as time proceeds everything else proceeds as well. I might be considered lucky as I have let a peaceful and carefree life before I was 16. In other words I have led 15 years of an easy life. Wait, is it lucky? I’d say no actually. Walking on a flat ground wouldn’t do any good; it’s the hills that build up a person.

Looking back into the far past I have never thought about the future. As my memories proceed to the closer past I was looking into the future but saw nothing of myself. Now, I look into a future and see success of myself. From the far past I knew nothing, as it comes closer I had guidance and as it comes to the present I have experience. I believe I truly have great potential. It is this belief that creates the image of success in me. In 1 of my previous post believe I have mentioned everyone has potential in something but I see more in myself. The reason lies within this post itself. The belief, confidence and vision I have in myself.

Looking back in the near past, I have gained a lot but there is loss as well. It is these gains and loss that has educated me and sparked up my potential. The loss I suffer is unbearable and because of that the spark of one area has transferred to another. One can never manage too much at the same time and because of that one must choose what to let go and what not to. I choose to work for what I’ve loss. No matter I can or not it is something I must try. If I do not it will definitely be a regret of a lifetime and no matter how successful I become it will become pointless.

The works I have written so far is not normal writing. I never thought about it in depth before this period of inactivity and because of that I never knew but now I know what it is that I’ve been writing all this while. What I have been writing is none other than the story of my own life. The emotions, the thoughts and the experience I have gone through. It is actually the 1^st ever reason I have created this blog. Even though there are still points I must hide it’s still better to express out what I can. In the very first place these written works are supposed to be where writers express their emotion and feelings.

Within these period of inactivity I had countless flashback on the memories of what I have loss. It is the belief in hope that is keeping me moving. I could just fall anytime but because there is still hope I will still keep moving. This loss is too much suffering for me. Finally, these two posts might not be as educational as all my other posts in the past but within this post are my emotions. Within this post are the feelings I want to let out.

End

Of the Inactive Period

2007-09-13T00:26:00.000+08:00

More than 2 weeks have flowed by since the last time I’ve posted. Why is it that I have not posted for so long? Has no events passed by in this 2 weeks plus? No, in fact many events have flowed by. Is it because I have no philosophy I can input in? No, I have plenty of philosophy I can add in. Is it because I’m busy then? Well, maybe a bit but it’s not the reason. So what is it? It’s mood. Not everything should be done according to mood but if I blog when I don’t feel like blogging has defeated the purpose of doing it. I and a few of my friends of mine have been saying form 4 is like what a year and there are still a few months. So much could happen in this few months.

One of the main event is well, scouts AGM. During the speeches of the ex-COH, I believe many were actually hoping for them to finish their speech quickly. I personally do want it to be fasted a bit but was giving attention to the speeches at the same time. Even though I knew the probability of me being QM is very high but there was still the possibility of me being anything (except TL, FQM and secretary). Well, after all the speeches then came the announcement of the post holders. As the list goes on, the number of posts gets less but the post I want still haven’t come. There was a dilemma there as I don’t want my name to come so fast but I want it to be announced also because I feared I can’t get it. Well, in the end I got it so nothing more to say.

TL: Lee Kin Meng JTL: Chim Li Ching
Secretary: Lyn Kam Assistant: Joel Soon
Treasurer: Tai Kian Min Assistant: Cheong Kah Hao
QM: Leong Wai Yew Assistant: Lee Yew Leung
FQM: Caely See Assistant: Yong Chee Ken
Den Warden: Mathew Woo Assistant: Vincent Tan
IT Head: Geoffrey Kok Assistant: Shannen Kok

I still have not started doing my QM work yet. Well, I don’t think you’ll expect me to do 100% of the work right? Well, maybe I’ll do 70% but definitely not everything alone man. I’m not a normal person but I’m not that crazy. Well, efficiency of work done by me alone will surely not be as good as with help. Therefore works that requires a lot of effort should be done with the help of many people. Most people still haven’t started their work yet but kind of amazing what the FQM did. The kitchen now is like wow. I don’t even know how to describe it.

Even as the scouts QM I can say that I’m quite a newbie in QM. Well, I’m haven’t really been handling with QM stuff before this and I’ve done no post holder jobs in the past years. There are two kinds of people who will be chosen to take responsibilities whether posts, representatives or whatever it is. The two kinds are experienced people and people with potential. To have a successful leading board you need both experience and potential. There are people with both but in the case of not having enough of them you’ll need some with 1 and some with another.

There’s much more to write but I’ll have to pause here and continue the next post.

Change

2007-08-26T22:00:00.000+08:00

Time just goes by never stopping and never slowing down. As I write and write and as you read and read, time just passes by. Reminiscing back into the past, changes are certainly felt. As time passes everything just changes. If we go into individual, people around changes, your path changes, treatment you receive changes, even your own thinking changes. Basically, everything changes.

Things changes most as one goes through the different stages of human maturity. From babies to pre-school, from pre-school to early primary, from early primary to late primary, from late primary to early secondary, from early secondary to late secondary, from late secondary to college and university, from there to working from working to retirement. One’s life is separated into so many stages. Of course the stages after university can still be broken down but because I’m just a young boy, I am incapable of doing so. Basically I can only go till form 4 because that’s where I am.

Sometimes the reason the things around seem to have changed not because they really changed but because your view of life has changed. I can’t really say generally because I do not know but my life before form 4 is just more or less smooth. Sure, maturity still happens as different people are met, different things happen, and different difficulties are faced but I don’t think it can be compared to the life in form 4. Form 4 has just been one heck of a year for me. I’ve grown massively in form 4. In a short eight months I’ve grown more than I have in years before. The experience has really been nothing compared to what I’ve faced before form 4. If life is a roller coaster, form 4 is one heck of a ride.

I used to think I was already at the matured stage but after going through this stage of maturity I finally understand why people say I was still a kid. I have always been seen as a more matured person in front of my friends but back home I can always feel my immaturity. Now, I do not feel immature but I understand that one will not know one’s own immaturity before going through the stages. I wouldn’t say I’m already a matured person as I do not know am I and will not know until I reach that stage. Reminiscing back at only the form 4 past, so many feelings can be felt so many changes can be seen.

I’ve heard people saying eldest among siblings are more matured but also heard youngest among siblings are more matured. Well, in my opinion it depends very much on the situation. Eldest can be more matured because they have to take care of the younger siblings while youngest can be more matured as they get influenced from their elder siblings. Basically eldest get matured being forced by situation while youngest because of the influence from being with their more matured siblings.

I am a youngest child myself and I’ve always been known as a more matured one in my age group. I am influence by my elder brothers who are 5 years and 9 years older than me in thinking. At the same time I get influence by my friends who are at my age as well. These two influence mix and well, creates a hybrid, me. If you’re thinking it will create two way characteristics, you’re wrong. A different thing will be created. If you use mathematics for example, 3+4=7 it won’t be equals to 34. Well, maybe I’ll elaborate on hybrid on another post. For now, for this post, it ends here.

Time never stops flowing, nothing ever stops changing

End
Yu

Interest

2007-08-22T14:12:00.000+08:00

I believe that everyone should excel in their area of interest. But then again, what if they suck in that area? Well, one may excel slower and need to work harder in certain areas but when there is will and hard work, one can excel in any area. Yeah, I did say we should find out talent and work on that but if our talented area is not our area of interest then it’s a different case. Although usually if we’re talented in something we will like the thing but there are exceptions so I am now talking about the exceptions.

Yeah, the work may be harder and takes longer if this is the case but because it is your interest, the negative feeling felt will be neutralized by the positive feeling caused by your interest. On the other hand, if you work on an area you dislike, no matter how talented you are and how much hard work and time is decreased, you still feel worse as the feeling of dislike is not neutralized by anything.

Everyone has their interest. There’s no exception to that. The differences are only how big is the interest, what is it and whether they realized it or not. It is possible for one to not know his or her interest. I myself did not uncover my interests until this very year. As you can see, I wrote interests instead of interest. In other words, I have more than one interest. Interests in different areas might start at any point of your life. Take myself for example; I never liked writing since I was young. Now, I have a great interest in writing. Writing has become my hobby. I have taken up blogging, I’ve been writing poetries and I even feel like writing a story now.

Of course, I still love add math and teaching. If you say talent, I would say I probably have talent in add math but if you say teaching then I would say I don’t know. Yeah, sure I’ve thought people before but whether I did a good job or not I really don’t know. Nobody ever gave me comments about my teaching. I hope people would comment so that I know what I am good in and what do I need to improve. To be a teacher it is not only about talent but it is very much about experience. Experience without feedback would still be lacking though because it is through feedback that one knows where to improve and eventually do better.

Actually even as a student, one should work hard on their interest already. One can even start a part time career in their area of interest already. It is actually quite an advisable thing to do provided the time for school work is properly planned and done. As I said, it’s not only about talent but also about interest. Don’t know you talent or interest yet? Seek and you shall find it.

Follow your own interest, not others'.

End
Yu

Experience

2007-08-19T17:11:00.000+08:00

I was the camp coordinator for the 2 days 1 night PLTC camp in school for scouts which ended yesterday. I know I did quite badly. Many things I was late to confirm. Many things I got it done very slow. Many things I was very blur. I’m supposed to be a person full of self confidence but I really can’t be through this camp. My confidence is all gone. Why? There are just too many things I’m uncertain of and I’m scared of doing things that affect other people.

How would you know about things best? Experience would be the answer. I’m a truly inexperienced person in management. I never manages things no matter small or big. In short, I’m a newbie. Worse is I’m quite a coward actually. I don’t dare to do things I’m not sure that can affect more than myself. As I’ve said numerous times, self confidence is really important but it’s not possible to have self confidence at all times. What can we do then?

Experience is one of the answers. Once you’ve done something once before, you’ll know what to do and if you know what to do, of course you’ll have confidence. Of course that’s not for everything. I’m meaning for things that experience can help. Another answer would be prepare and do things early. If you settle and finish everything early, you’ll have time to fix or time to ask if you do things wrongly, stuck in the middle or not sure about things. With both add together plus the things I wrote in my self confidence post, you’re more or less a pro already.

I am nowhere near a pro. I think that I can catch things and interpret things quite well. I think I can manipulate knowledge fine. The problem here is my knowledge is limited. I’d suck in the first time. Experience is what improves people. That is why usually older people can seem to think better and stuff. It’s because they have experience in a lot of different stuffs. Oh, I left out this. Everyone needs to be decisive as well. I am not a decisive person myself. I don’t know what it takes to be decisive so I can’t interpret on it.

Actually we should equip ourselves with all kinds of positive characteristics but it’s quite impossible to have everything. That’s why we should concentrate on those needed most first. Once you’re done then you go on to those second in line. One of the main point I’m trying to say is I’m lacking the few things. That’s why I did so badly The most important is actually experience. If experience can’t be given, what I need would be a complete guideline on every single aspect on the thing I’m handling. If you ask me am I ready to be a good leader yet I would answer soon. Through every experience I go through I will improve. I’m taking up more and more things now. I’m trying to get myself experience and skills of different aspects. That’s one way to improve.

Experience beats genius.

End
Yu

Busy

2007-08-13T21:40:00.000+08:00

Wow, how long has it been since I last blogged? It’s like more than 10 days now. Sorry for all the people who are awaiting my meaningful posts about life. I was rather busy with stuffs lately. Now, that’s like so related to the title. Busy. What I’m going to talk about? Read on and you’ll see. The emotional posts are gone now it’s time for some unemotional yet meaningful post. Masterpiece begins now.

Busy. Some people are so busy that they don’t have time to sleep while some are so not busy that they can just sleep the whole day. Different people are busy with different things and have different level of busyness. Now, what determines one person’s busyness? Is it their fate to be a busy person? Is it because other people want to make them busy? Why?

It is actually one’s choice whether to be busy or not. As said by the famous quote from Spiderman, “With great power comes great responsibility”. The more power and the higher the power you hold is, the more and greater will the responsibilities you hold be. That’s how things work in this world but things might be a bit different in certain positions though. At times as big shareholders of a company, or CEO of some company that can run by itself, you’ll be able to relax most of the time. That stage is not easy to reach unless of course you’re born with a silver spoon in your mouth then it’s a total different case.

For normal cases, one chooses to take up responsibilities when the person takes hold of power in some way. As a student, I’ll go to school level. In clubs, societies and all, as you hold a post, you’ll eventually be given work to do. That’s why the more post you hold, the busier you’ll be. In that case should we let go of some posts? Well, it depends on you. If you think you can handle it and you choose to take it, go ahead. I for one am aiming for post in scouts. I already have a membership director post in the Interact Club but still, I aim for more. I want to be in the COH of scouts, captain of volleyball, as well as become a school representative athlete.

Am I aiming too much? Am I making myself too busy? It might be so but it’s a matter of choice. I choose to take up the challenge, to be able to cope with multiple responsibilities and do well in it. I’m currently still a newbie in many things especially management stuff. To take up different works is actually to train you in different kinds of works.

Now, It’s actually our choice to be busy or not. Everything has its pros and cons. It’s a undeniable fact. Examples of the pros to be busy as you won’t be wasting much time, you will learn a lot and you will rarely feel bored. Examples of the cons would be the time for other activities needs to be cut down, stress may be caused, and not much time to spend with friends or girlfriend/boyfriend. It’s your choice. To be or not to be. Choose wisely and may you enjoy what you choose.

End
YU

Training. Playing. Winning.

2007-08-02T23:01:00.001+08:00

People usually train before they play and people got to play before they can win. So basically training will be the first thing to do. Followed up by playing and lastly ends with winning. Which is the most important then? I feel that there is no most. All should be done with the best of our ability.

Training. Yes, some people might be able to play and then win without training but I feel training should still be conducted. Training is conducted not only to ensure victory towards a game or competition or anything. Training should be conducted to improve one's ability. Even if one is good enough to beat anyone he sees he should still strive to improve and the way to improve is training. Well, training for teams isn't only good for improving.

Another thing can be gained from it. Moral lessons, teamwork, better friendship and can't be left out a day filled with laughters. Well, I don't know if it's every training but this day the 4 Ixora soccerthon team, All Sparks team training has definitely have them all. Now, I'll tell the story of the hilarious training of the All Sparks team. I hope I don't get it wrong, I can't remember exactly what happened first. Here goes.

First it starts with the group up of the team. while Kah Ken was away and is yet to arrive, we decided to jog first. After 1 round around the field, Wesley changed direction and moved towards a big tree. Now, what was he trying to do? Answer, pee. Now, suddenly after running rounds with Thomas, the ball was kicked up and ended up stuck on a tree branch. We threw rocks and 2 more balls we brought(throw and kick to be exact). We tried so hard but no good results still. Suddenly, 1 smart fella ended up making another ball stuck. Now, we got 2 balls stuck and unable to get it down. The tree was to hard to climb.

Suddenly out of nowhere, Say Chong found a super long wood I think about 10 feet long. We lifted the wood aimed and poked up repeatedly. Finally we got both balls down. After long time of hard work and cooperation among the team, we managed to do it. Later, Kah Ken decided to commence our training but before that, he decided to do the same thing as Wesley at the same big tree. Being influenced by the two of them doing that, I myself felt like peeing so I went and do the same thing.

The training starts with a game of monkey. Nothing much to elaborate on that. Next is the suicides. We all did 10 and Say Chong did 5. Nothing much to elaborate on that as well. Now, after the suicides. After that, something magical happened. Kah Ken suddenly said he wants to eat ice-cream. We were all like what the hell. I mean, who the hell eats ice cream after warm up? Suddenly, after about 10 seconds ice cream seller's music was heard. We all looked towards the direction of the music and the uncle selling ice cream appeared. We shouted to him and in the end he stopped and we all bought ice cream and ate them.

After that we did stretching. In the halfway of stretching, suddenly Say Chong shouted. What happened? Leg cramp. We were all laughing like hell for this. After the stretching we played game. After the training when we were going back to out bench, Say Chong suddenly tripped on the ball and ended up in a cramp again. That's the end of the hilarious training of All Sparks. We were all laughing like hell during the whole training.

Lets go back to the main topic. Playing is very important. If the game is played like shit, even though we win it's not enough. The performance matters as much as winning. Winning of course is very important. So what should we have to win? That's right, confidence. We must always be confident. Right, so I'll end this post now,

End,
YU

ALL SPARKS! GO!

Ability

2007-07-29T21:59:00.000+08:00

Is there a limit to a person's ability? I don't know if there is but I believe there is no limit to one's ability. I believe that one can always improve no matter how good they've become. One might reach a point where they feel that they have reached their limit of improvement but I believe these barriers can be broken. I believe these barriers are just created by the one's mind. With will and determination to improve, I believe they will be able to always continue improving.

Even though I think ability can always improve but I believe people have their own talented ability that they're special in. It's not they can stretch out further but it's that they can improve easier and faster. One who does not work on their talent might still lose to people without talent but work much harder than them. In other words, "Hard work can beat talent but hard work can not beat hard work with talent," that's what I'm trying to say.

Now, one's ability relates very closely to confidence. Confidence must always exist with your ability. One's ability will higher when you are filled with confidence. On the other hand, if you have no confidence or very low confidence, your ability will be lower than your normal ability. That's the reason confidence is one of my motto.

Now, one can never be confident at all times and events. At these times I believe what one should do is keep motivating yourself and act confident. I believe I don't need to say more on the motivating yourself. Acting confident can affect your own psychology and create a little more confidence in yourself. It will also affect other people and cause other people to feel that your ability is increased.

Another important thing is motivation. One will need motivation to work hard and motivation to be confident. There are many ways to give motivation. In my case, 1 of my always used motivation way is self praising. For me, this way of motivation really works. I don't know if it will work on everyone but I guess it's one option you can try. Well, it's the only way I know.

In conclusion, I believe one should always work hard but concentrate more on your talented aspect and also always try to be confident. Even if you can't be, act like you are. Lastly we should also keep motivating ourselves. That's it for this post.

End
YU

2nd Tag

2007-07-26T22:13:00.001+08:00

Alright, it's been a while since I've last posted. It's been a while I've been tagged by mike as well. So, here goes.

1.Do you ever lie about your age?

Except for some online stuff and those need above 18 years old stuff, no.

2.Do you prefer sensitive girls or tough girls
A mix of both actually.

3.Do you prefer blonde or dark haired girls?
Dark haired I guess but I don't think it really matters.

4.Are you currently single?
Currently and have always been.

5.How many things in the past do you regret?
A few. I mean, who keeps track of it?

6.Do you have a best friend?
Who doesn't?

7.What do you want to be when you grow up?
A tutor and at the same time businessman.

8.Who was the last person you hugged?
Err, I don't know. Jun Hsien I think.

9.Have you ever had your heart broken?
I guess so.

10.Have you ever thought about having plastic surgery?
Why would I? I'm pretty satisfied with myself.

11.Do you like your life?
I'd say most parts but not all parts.

12.Do you shop at hollister
Where's that?

13.Has one of your friends ever stolen a gf from you?
I never even had 1 to begin with.

14.Has one of your friends stabbed you in the back
Not any I know.

15.Do you have more girl friends or boy friends?
Sadly, boys.

16.How long have you had friendster?
About 3 years.

17.Have you ever cheated on someone?
I don't think so.

18.Has someone cheated on you?
I don't think so also.

19.Have you ever slapped a girl in the face?
I would never do such a thing.

20.What is one of your biggest fears?
Loneliness I guess.

21.Have you ever skipped class?
Of course.

22.Has anyone close to you ever passed away?
Well, yeah. Saddening day.

23.Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
I don't think I did. I didn't even know people do t

24.Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
Sure.

25.Do you believe in the saying "once a cheater,always a cheater"
No. I believe we should always give people a second chance.

26.Have you ever had a good feeling about something and it turned out right?
I'm not sure. I can't recall any.

27.Do you ever wish you were famous?
Yup. I always have.

28.Do you ever wish you were a woman?
Err, no.

29.Do you think women smell nice in perfume?
Depends on the perfume of course but I don't think it really matters.

30.I would like to tag
1.Kin Meng
2.Bryan

Everyone tag 3 people. I'll make a change and tag 2.

Alright, how can my post contain a mere normal tag? 1 post shouldn't have 2 different topics either. All these tags are created by people. Why do they create them? For me, it's quite a waste of time unless I can think of a really interesting tag. Tags like this 1 is quite pointless for me. Making it is a waste of time, how about doing it? It's quite a waste of time as well I guess. Why do I do it then? The reason is I can manipulate the tag to write about things. I say it's a waste of time for me but it might not be a waste of time for others. If one gets satisfaction or have interest in creating or doing tags then it wouldn't be a waste of time anymore.

Lets take a look at question no.5, How many things in the past do you regret? Everyone surely will do things that they'll regret on. People who can live a life with no regrets are people who are living quite a great life. People who can do that are not people who are lucky and do nothing that they can regret on. They are people who can take everything with no regrets. I am not capable of doing such thing.

Now, lets take a look at question no.22. Has anyone close to you ever passed away? Death is an unavoidable thing. Everyone faces it one day. The person close to me that passed away is my grandfather. He was a really kind man. I was right beside him as he left us. It was really saddening but thinking about it after that, it might not be a bad thing actually. Who knows he's much happier after death? Then again, which is worse? Dying or seeing people you love die? I believe most people choose to die rather than seeing people die. Do they ever think, wouldn't people suffer more if they die for people? Well, I can't really say much on this as there's too much I do not know.

Lastly lets take a look at question no.27. Do you ever wish you were famous? I have always wanted to be famous. Of course I want to be famous in a good way and not a bad way. Bad way as in a stupid person, a criminal or anything similar. Good way as in all positive things. I believe that I am capable enough to be famous. My super high self-confidence is already a great aspect of mine that can make me famous. Confidence will boost one's ability very much. That's all.

End
YU

Y U Blog

2007-07-17T22:02:00.000+08:00

This post will be very long. If first part is boring, please read on as it will get better after the 1st part. Alright. Mike said my blog is like a reality check blog and then Bryan and Wei Yeen said my blog makes them think. Besides that, Jerrard also said my posts motivates him. I guess my posts are on the right track then. The very reason I created this blog was to share my thinking. It can be to motivate people, make people think about their lives or even make people realize something they did not know about their lives.

My blog is like talking about people in general but the truth is it's not. It is mainly talking about high school students. In fact, it's actually mainly about me and everything that revolves around me. Maybe you will realize my blog doesn't really have pictures. Maybe just by having a picture or two and make the blog much more interesting but I don't think I'll do it. Try reading a philosophy book, motivational book or other serious books. I don't think they have pictures right? Why do I need it then? Same goes for my blog layout. I'm writing serious stuffs. Don't compare my blog to those diary blog man. They make it fancy, it's their problem. I'm making my blog simple and professional.

Alright, as I've written up there, my blog is about high school students. As students reach high school, they are reaching the part of life where you grow most both mentally and physically. Things will also change in high school. Teacher's treatment different, friends' treatment also different, parents treatment also, studies level also will be different and even yourself will change.

I've written in my 'life?' post saying that I believe everyone has their own destiny and everything is destined. It is a destiny that I'm writing this blog and people read my blog. Whether or not it helps in any way, it's still destiny. In my mistakes post I've written that there are mistake we must make sure we do not do. If you listen to my advice, it's a destiny that you listen. That is what I believe.

Everything will change in time even though we ourselves stays the same. Everything seem to be changing a lot since I've came to form 4. Things seem to have been constantly changing since I've came to form 4. Changes can be good but can also be bad. Many things have changed in a good way. Even so, of course there can't be no bad changes at all.

Actually many things have changed according to how I want it to change. I wished to be acknowledged and it seem I'm kind of acknowledged now. I wish to have posts. I'm the membership director of the Interact Club. I wished my class to be mixing around more. It appears to be quite well now. One should be really happy when things change like this but then life can never be so perfect.

There's a reason behind the writing of my every post. I don't simply think of something to write. Every post of mine is written in accordance to what I did, what happened to me, what I feel, what I want to do and also things about people around me. just early this month I wrote the post 'mistakes'. Obviously I did a bad mistake. Just this 1 mistake can make a seemingly perfect life become a screwed up life. That's why I say never make any mistakes like this.

Maybe you will realize all my posts lately are all emo like posts. And very obviously, I am emo-ing while writing the posts. Although a lot of my posts are serious but it is only lately that my posts became emo. Emo-ness can definitely be hidden but then it's really though to do it. At these times is when my motto has a bit of a problem. It's quite hard to chill. It can be done, it's just hard. Self-confidence is also hard to have. The spirit to do anything will just be lost when things like this happen.

When anything goes wrong or has trouble I usually keep telling myself that I'm smart, I'm capable and I'll be able to solve anything. In special cases though it won't do any good. There are just things that even a super genius can't fix. As I said, the spirit to do anything will just be lost when things like that happen that's why a capable person might be not so capable for some time when something like that happen.

Everyone's life just have their own road and have their own paths to be chosen. Every decision should be considered wisely before doing. I already said, just 1 mistake can be very bad. I've also explain how it can be bad. Actually I wrote 1 quarter of this post on Tuesday and continued and finish it today. Finally I have a day with enough time to finish this post. Alright, I'll just end this post with 1 more sentence. Choose your paths wisely and carefully.

End
YU

What is a man?

2007-07-12T23:04:00.000+08:00

What is a man? I believe everyone has their own definition of a 'man'. Just a day ago, my English teacher, Miss Cheryl said that her definition of a man is a person who is strong enough to cry. I think that she definitely have a point in what she said.

I mean, how many people can actually cry? Some can't even cry behind other people. Of course I think a man should be able to cry in front of others. Many so called 'manly' people think that crying shows that they're weak and they don't want to show it no matter what.

Well, I have my own definition of man. I feel that a man should have 2 characteristics. 1, a man should have the courage to stand up and stand firm to protect. 2, a man should have the courage to let go some of his pride for a purpose. For example, to protect again. At times we might need to let go our pride in order to be able to protect something.

I also believe that one should not hold his pride so high in front of his loved ones. I think we should let out our soft side to our loved ones instead of trying to be all high and mighty. I also believe that a man is only a man if the characteristics is true. One who tries to act strong I believe is not manly. I believe it is one's true characteristics that should be used to define whether he is a man or not.

Well, lastly I would say we should just be ourselves. Whether one is a man or not is not really that important. Everyone is special. We have our own special characteristics. If our characteristics isn't manly, let it be. But then I would say don't be a wimp at the very least. Even though we don't need to be a man I believe that we shouldn't be a wimp. That's it.

End
YU

Success

2007-07-11T22:37:00.000+08:00

What is success? In my opinion, success is when one has achieved what was aimed for. Everyone has different aim so everyone have a different success. Everyone wants to succeed, everyone wants to be successful. Even so, people who do succeed is far below people who want to. Why? What they think is what they want to succeed in. They don't think how.

I think that what we must have to succeed is my two motto of life. To chill and to have self-confidence. In the process of achieving success problems are unavoidable. We must be able to chill in those times. One has to be confidence in oneself at all times. With confidence, one's ability will increase. If one is like thinking he/she will fail, the probability of him/her failing is like very very high.

Now, lets go on to after succeeding. Actually why do people want to succeed? I would think it's so that they can be happy after succeeding. At least that's for me. So is it enough to succeed? Would we be happy just by succeeding? Of course it's not enough. Even though you've succeeded everything you aimed for, became what you've always wanted if you have just one thing that makes you unhappy, you still won't be happy.

Here leads back to 2 posts back. There are just mistake we can't afford to make. Making those mistakes would make our success mean nothing. So basically, chill, have self-confidence and think properly before doing anything. Only by doing that can you achieve a success with meaning. That's all.

End
YU

Growth

2007-07-10T21:49:00.000+08:00

As time passes as things happens people tend to grow. People grow physically and mentally as well. The physical growth I think almost everyone knows. People who reach puberty will have this and that, people who reach adultery will have this and that, people who reach old age will have reverse growth and this and that. It's not my point so I won't really say on that.

Mental growth. The growth differs among people. When it grows, how much it grows and how it grows it's all different. It can happen due to just the maturity of the brain. It can also happen due to events that happened in one's life. One more reason I know is due to the existence of certain things or people in one's life. Whether there is more reasons to the growth or not, I don't know.

Sometimes just a single event can totally change someone. One event is enough to make someone into a better or worse person. These events won't happen often in one's life. These events will be like memories of the person's lifetime.

Things or people that come into one's life can also really change a person. A person lack of confidence might be able to gain them for example. It might also make a person work towards a change or even just change without even knowing it. People will definitely grow in time. It's just whether how, when and why.

So, just flow with these time and events and change. For the better or for the worse it depends on the person, not the events. How you change depends on your base character. If it's good, you're good. If it's bad, you're bad. That's it

End
YU

Mistakes

2007-07-09T22:48:00.000+08:00

Everyone does mistakes. That's an undeniable fact. It's totally fine to do mistakes but then not all mistakes are fine. Certain mistakes if done can destroy your whole life. Of course those mistakes are really really serious. There are mistakes that might cause you to lose something or maybe someone important to you. Could be an item, your family, your friend, anything.

It is very important that we must be aware to not make those mistakes. If you make those mistakes, you'll really have to pay the price. The suffering you have to endure can be really bad. That's why people always say think before you act.

Now, what if you have already made the mistake? There are certain mistakes that can be fixed and there are those that can't. For those you can, you should definitely do everything you can to fix it. For those you can't, well, I don't know. I guess just leave it to time would be the only thing you can do. That's it.

End
YU

07/07/07

2007-07-08T01:34:00.000+08:00

The number of post in my blog like getting less and less now. Why is it so? Is it because I ran out of ideologies? Is it because I'm getting lazy to blog? Is it because I'm too busy to blog? Well, no. I actually have plenty of ideologies I can write, I'm not that lazy and I'm not that busy either. Then why? It's just I don't really have the mood to blog. As you know I was emo-ing lately.

07/07/07. I was rather busy on this day. Morning I went marching, then afternoon rock climbing and at night Rotarian Installation Dinner. The rock climbing was kind of fun. I don't have any pictures of this rock climbing I can post up but then I have some old climbing photos I took in camp 5.

I didn't took any photo in the dinner either. The whole day I was rushing here and there but I would say the day is not bad at all.

Under usual circumstances I would say it's a great day. It's not that something happened on that day. It's just something haunting my mind. No matter how great a day can be, just 1 problem can make the great day not great anymore. That is what I realized on 07/07/07. The 2 feelings will just clash and both will be felt. That's it.

End
YU

Problems(No.3)

2007-07-03T20:12:00.000+08:00

It's really been a while since I've blogged. Man, my post are all quite emo already ar. In 1 of my previous post I mentioned that I wonder why people get emo. In the end I myself got emo. Emo I guess it's kind of normal. Even when someone looks happy on the outside he might be emo-ing in his heart.

In my 1st problems post I mentioned that we should try to solve our problems instead of avoiding it. Even so, there are some problems that we might be incapable of solving. So, maybe I was wrong. Maybe we should actually avoid them sometimes. If a problem can't be solved no matter what you do, I think we should just try to avoid it so at least you might feel better.

What's the best way to forget your emo-ness? I don't know. I only know 1 way. Try to be as hyper as possible. Even if it doesn't work, it might work to at least cover it. Rather than being an emo and have your friends worry and all, try to be hyper. Ups and downs are just parts of our lives. The ups or downs may be higher or lower sometimes but without them, it ain't life. We just gotta learn to enjoy the ups and live with the downs.

End
YU

Problems?(no.2)

2007-06-26T17:05:00.000+08:00

I've had a post about problems before this. That post was written about 3 months ago. As I've said in that post, almost everyone has problems. Life is just never perfect. You may see another person's life like perfect from the outside but what you may not know is he might be suffering inside.

I stayed back in school today and I had a conversation with Umesh. Our conversation came to a part where if there's no love in our life we'd be much happier. I believe that is totally true. In my opinion, love can either bring you up to heaven or it can kick u down to hell.

Lets go back to the main topic. If you look around you, you may see people who are life happily living their lives with no problem but then is it true? Probably not. Just take myself for example. I am like super satisfied with myself and my life. I'm like just enjoying my life with no problems. Is that true? I can tell you no. I have my problems. I have my cause of sadness as well. Even if you see me smiling I may not be really happy. If you see me looking into the sky or out the window with a seemingly unhappy face. 90% is I'm really not unhappy.

Conclusion, nearly everyone has their problems. Talk to your good friends or best friends. Probably they have problems too. Help each other, try to make each other feel better. If possible, try to help them solve their problems. That's it.

End
-YU-

4 Ixora

2007-06-23T00:44:00.000+08:00

Right, it's my so great class. So called first sub science class. It's actually not a good class at all. Lets see the results. Yeah, the 1st in class got like more than 80% but then 2nd in class got about 70% only. The third goes down to about 69% already. The range of marks between the 1st and last is really really big.

Now, lets go to discipline. Our class has actually made a few teachers angry. Just today, Pn. Norshimah who is my moral teacher got real pissed off. She packed her stuff and just went down. In my heart I was thinking "Woah, sorry wei teacher.". As she went down, I don't know what the hell is wrong with my class, they're like happy. I mean most of them, not all. Actually I wanted to just scold them but I just felt like ah, screw it.

But then after that, the noise increased. My monitor then stood up and shouted. As I remembered, what she said was something like this "Class, can you all shut up ar!? You want to piss another teacher off is it?!" Wesley or Kah Ken or both shouted something back. I wasn't paying attention. After that she was real pissed and she said something like, what kind of class is this lar. Teruk betul. After that she went down to don't know where.

Now here's the best part. All of those made me stood up. I stood up and shouted "Class, what is wrong with you all!? You all pissing people off 1 by 1! Now you want to piss me off also is it!?" Even though I said that, I was 0% pissed. I'm more of disappointed than pissed. I shouted just because I want to scold the class. It was partly because I want to calm the class down also. I don't know if it worked but well, better than doing nothing.

The teacher is actually a good teacher in my opinion. I was actually quite sad that she was pissed off. I don't think she deserved that. If it's because of me, I will sincerely say sorry to her. Now, I don't know if it's because of me but I didn't pay attention anyway so I guess I should say sorry to her. I probably will do it but I'm not sure. I actually planned to become a teacher then a tutor but now after seeing how much stress can teenagers bring, I guess I should think twice.

I guess it's time for me to stop keeping my cool every time and start scolding the class. I am after all the assistant monitor of the class. I never use violence to control people. I don't do it not because I can't, it's because I don't want to. I am after all a taekwondo red-black belt holder. Maybe someday I'll be forced to. Although I doubt that, but who knows.

End
Assistant Monitor of 4 Ixora
Damian Leong Wai Yew

Friends

2007-06-19T22:09:00.000+08:00

Alright, first thing. Caely, if you're reading this yes I'm copying your post idea again. Now, lets get back to my post. Friends. Some have many, some have a few, some are uncountable, some can be counted by your fingers. The amount just differs for different people but then how many are actually true friends? First of all, what would you call a true friend? A person who knows you well? A person who knows your family as well as you? A person who always hang out with you? I myself won't know what really is the definition of true friends. My own definition of true friends are friends who care about you. Friends who will help you when needed.

Basically that's my definition of a true friend. Whether I really have a true friend or not I don't know. Humans are just too intelligent. Anyone can just act as your friend when they actually don't take you as their friend. Even so, I believe that I do have them. It's just a matter of trust. I trust my friends especially my best friends like Han Liang, Jun Hsien and Thomas.

Now lets come to myself. Am I a true friend to anyone? It comes back to the definition again, the definition of care is just a definition of my own. If according to my definition of true friend, I think I am. Care is not necessary to be shown always. I may seem like I care, I may seem like I don't but I really care about most of my friends. Seriously. The 3 names I mentioned up there, as I said they're my best friends. Obviously I do care about them. Even the person I leeched the idea of this topic from I care. I may not show my care to you people but I do care.

End
YU

Tag?

2007-06-18T21:34:00.000+08:00

Alright, my 1st ever tag in the blog. Tagged by Kin Meng. This is actually a rather interesting tag. Let's just get started.

Rules : For those who have been tagged, you are required to write a story about one of your crushes, be it a current or a previous crush. To be exactly different from the common tags, there are no questions imposed this time. All you have to do is to write a story about him/her. Also, 5 people will need to be tagged at the end of the post.You must post up these rules before you start writing.

Crush, I think almost everyone who are in secondary school or older have or had a crush or crushes. I myself had a few crushes in the past and 1 in the present. Many people have crushes in high school but are any of them actually true love? I'd say there is but very hard to find. Lets come back to me. Is any of my crushes true? I would say all my past crushes are just forms of attraction of guy towards girls.

In the past I'm super shy in front of my crushes. I was always barely able to even speak a word to them. Obviously I didn't have any girlfriend before. Whether or not I will have it is still a question with no answer. In the present it's totally different. I can totally be myself in front her. I can somehow just talk and everything without being unnatural.

Alright. So, loving someone doesn't mean you must have them right? Even so, no matter what there will be jealousy existing if they coupled or even just being close with someone who likes them. If they're not your girlfriend or wife, you actually have no right to disrupt them. So in these situations what should you do? Avoid, endure and just ignore. That's my opinion.

Even so, I'm sure you would still hope to be together with them. I keep saying in general but actually what I'm saying is actually about me alone. Even though there's no hope, the love will still exist. The love will never fade even through the end of time.

End
YU

Damn, I don't know who to tag. I'll just simply throw a few people from my friend's blog links.
1.Alwin
2.Suk Ting
3.Bryan Yong
4.Samantha
5.Sue Vern

My posts

2007-06-16T20:38:00.000+08:00

It seems recently my blog have been quite inactive. I just kind of ran out of ideas of what to write. There were many many philosophies I thought of but never write out but I have forgotten what they are. I still don't have any idea of what to write even up till now. I just read through all my past posts. it seems I actually don't remember everything I wrote. My own motto of life I actually forgot about it the past few days. Well, at least I remember it now.

In 1 of the past posts I said I'm not qualified to lead because I lack of confidence. Now, I won't say I'm a leader material but what I can say is I think I'm a capable person and I have much more self-confidence now. I think I am capable enough to take posts now. I don't know if I'll have posts but I really want them.

My blog is just full of my philosophies. All my opinions on things about our lives. I never think twice before writing them out. I don't even think before writing them out. I think what to write while I'm writing. It's like how I do my essays. I think while writing.

Actually after writing so many posts in my blog I wonder if anyone actually likes my posts. Are the things I write actually matured thinking? Does what I write change people's thinking, help people or anything like that? Please comment on this. I hope to know. That's it.

End
YU

School

2007-06-10T23:03:00.000+08:00

Cool. It's the last day of the holidays. School days will resume tomorrow. Right now there are many different people having different feelings now that holiday is almost over. There are some eagerly awaiting the coming of tomorrow there are some who want the time to just stop so that the holiday won't be over. Some people would feel that holiday is just plain boring and want to go back to school where life is less boring. Some would feel that holiday without school is just so great they wish it would last forever. My point is there are different feeling towards the end of the holiday.

Of course, besides the fun of the holidays there are other factors that affects the wanting of the holiday to end of not. I personally misses school life and schoolmates. I've always liked school actually that's why I rarely play truant. There are some people who want to study therefore they want school to start earlier.

This holiday came soon after the mid-year examination period. Some people who got low marks would feel that holiday is over so it's time to catch up with studies. That kind of attitude should actually appear in students. That includes me as well of course. Do I have this attitude? Actually I do have this attitude but whether my laziness is stronger or the will to study is stronger I don't know. So, lets wait and see.

Actually school life should be enjoyed by students. We should relax and enjoy the life as a student. When the working life comes that's when the stress should appear. We should just enjoy ourselves while we're young. Well, conclusion is just enjoy your school life. Holiday is over, go to school and enjoy it.

End
-YU-

Growing up

2007-06-07T20:14:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I last blogged. It's not because I'm busy. Well, I did have something to settle about the camp I went but it didn't took that much of my time. I didn't blog merely because I don't know what to blog about. I've been thinking, should I stop blogging my philosophies and go blog about other stuffs? Well, I won't. My knowledge is actually very limited. There's nothing much I know enough that I can blog about. Blogging about my philosophies is just the best. It merely involves my thinking and no facts are involved. It's all ideas.

Maybe I'll spare 1 paragraph about the camp. The camp was in Templer's Park. It's my first jungle camp. My patrol, the senior patrol was called bleach patrol. I was Kuchiki Byakuya. Why? Because I pan cool, lan si like him. In the sketch I did senbon zakura. Quite cool eh. So end up, I'm pan cool/lan si/poser in the camp. Well, actually all along I am. So, basically the camp was great. So, that's all about the camp.

Right, lets go to my title. Growing up. During this year I feel that a lot of people are starting to change. I guess it's just a part of growing up. I actually think I have changed a lot but I asked a few people and they say I didn't really change. Well, of course I'm still so kind, so gentleman and so cool lar. XP Sorry for my lansi-ness. It's just a part of me. But then again, don't you agree with me?

My point is people just change. Some change more some change less. Some change their main person some just change small parts of them. People change in a different rate in a different way. Some change may be good some may be bad. Change is actually good if in a good way. I writing a blog actually proves my change. I mean, I think many people are shocked that 'I' have blog right? Another thing, my boasting has increased drastically as well. It's merely to get attention. My self-confidence has actually boosted as well. Like I said in 1 of my previous post. There were a few things that came into my life and changed me.

Change towards negative like if you become an asshole then not good lar. By asshole I mean people who treat others unpleasantly. Although sometimes we must treat others unpleasantly also lar but I mean under usual circumstances. As you change you must think yourself is your change bad? If it is you got to help yourself. Stop the change or change again. Your character is determined by yourself. Nobody can help you. Only you can help yourself. You must know yourself, know your problem and fix it. That's it.

End
-YU-

9

2007-05-29T21:33:00.000+08:00

Right, nine is my favourite number. Like, this is the ninth post of the month. Did you notice for the previous 2 months there were nine posts as well? I didn't do it intentionally. It was a just coincidence. Well same will go for this month. This is the last post of the month. It's been few days of holiday now. Been going out for meetings for my camp quite often these few days. My camp is this Thursday by the way.

Did you think that I was gonna write a post about my life? I'm not gonna do that. All this while I wrote plenty of my own philosophies. Actually why do I write them? I mean I'm just some form 4 student, who bothers about my philosophies? And actually based on what is my philosophies formed? It's just purely my own thinking. A form 4 student's thinking. I don't know why I do it myself actually. I guess I just wanna do it. I won't stop anyway. As I said in 1 of my previous posts, I think that we should do whatever can make us happy as long as it doesn't affect others.

Thinking. When people actually think I guess many things can come out. But do people always think? I myself usually don't think actually. Most of the time when I do something I just do without thinking. I never think about what could happen or anything like that. I guess I should really start thinking before doing anything. So if you see me lagging I might be thinking.

Oh ya, lately I've been posting about lansi and boasting right? I guess boasting is like a sign of me. I guess it's the only thing that made people notice me. I won't stop boasting but I will reduce. Alright, last words of the month. Although it's kind of late, may every student enjoy their school holidays.

End
-YU-

Act?Change?

2007-05-26T22:44:00.000+08:00

Act to fit in? Change for people? If you say change, I guess if it’s for good we should change at times. Boasting, lan si, I didn’t use to always do it. During primary days I wasn’t a boaster. 1 thing I guess never changed is I’m still that much of a poser. I used to not like it when people say I’m a poser but then I changed.

As time passes I start to like it. Same goes to my name. People used to make fun of my names with “Why you?” or Ikan Yu or maybe something else but I changed my thinking. I think that it’s what makes my name so cool. You can write with just a Y and a U. Not bad eh. These changed happen to make myself happier, that’s all. It’s not to fit in or anything like that.

As time passes I also started to boast and lan si. It definitely helped me become less quiet but I’m still that quiet though. As time passes some more, I amplified the boasting and lan si-ness. Until today, has it gone overboard? I don’t know. If it’s overboard I’ll change and decrease it. Even so, I won’t act like what I’m not in front of different people. I am what I am. If I’m a boaster I boast to everyone.

Why won’t I act like what I’m not? Maybe people like me more if I act? Well, I don’t care. If they like me when I act and not being myself there’s no point. Unless of course certain aspects you just change it forever and make it a part of you then it’s okay but acting is just a stupid thing to do in my opinion. Whether I changed or not I guess I did change as something came into my life. Conclusion, change is fine, act is not.

End

-YU-

Boasting? Lan si?

2007-05-24T00:39:00.000+08:00

Ok, I decided it was neccessary for me to make this post. Yea, nowadays I boast freaking a lot. I'm lan si in almost everything I do. Well, if I offend anyone then sorry lar. You should tell me that straight to my face if I did. But whether anyone got offended or not I think a lot of people think I do it too much right?

Well, do you think I do it just for the sake of making myself like very pro? That's the wrong idea. I did say that self praising boosts self confidence but actually that's not why I boast. I seem to recall me saying that's why I boast right? If I did, I was lying. I boast because it's 1 of the only things I can do well.

As you all know, I'm a very quiet person. I always can't think of anything interesting or funny to say. There's where my boasting comes in. It's the only think I can always do at anytime, anywhere. When I boast maybe everyone would be like wth but I mean everyone kind of laughs after that right? It's not that I really want to do it that much lar. It's just that I'm toooo quiet that I must boast to not be so quiet.

Oklar, if more than 10 people want me to cut down on my boasting I'll do it. Please tell me, leave msg in my chatbox, msg me in msn ot even sms me.(hp no:0166292685) Oklar, please give some opinions on this.

End
-YU-

Exam papers

2007-05-22T21:04:00.000+08:00

Right, marks for a few subjects are already known. I rather not say the marks out, if not everyone will say I'm boasting about my marks. Well, I've done fairly well for my science and math subjects. I'm very sattisfied with the marks. Considering the amount of effort I put in I did really well. The one I put in most effort was chemistry which I studied from 1-5am. Other than that I didn't do much actually.

Yes, things are just so unfair. Some people are just able to absorb more with less effort. But then there's noone that's perfect. There is surely something better about you compared to them. Let's just take me for example. My fitness I would say acceptable, my absorbing ability I would say above average and my thinking skill I would say above average as well. Yeah, I may be quite good but then I'm extremely shy and quite a wimp in certain cases.

No matter how capable a person is, if the person is not daring enough to speak up the person is not going to get acknowledge. People wouldn't know them and certain success opportunity might be lost because of that. This is why being capable but no guts is not enough. This is also why being me alone is not enough. Which is exactly why I need to change and want to change.
Oklar. Enough already. Lazy to write more.

End
-YU-

Purpose

2007-05-21T21:34:00.000+08:00

Does everything we do need a purpose actually? Well, I think that almost everyone is selfish. Everything they do is actually for themselves. Well, maybe you'll ask, how about those people who's willing to sacrifice for others? How about those willing to die for others? How can they do that if they're selfish? I once thought that way as well. But then after many time of thinking, I came up with this idea.

Actually all this actions are actually for themselves. How is it for themselves? Helping people for example. For many people, helping people will make themselves happy. Sacrifice for maybe love for example. Some are willing to let the one they love be with someone else. Maybe you will say, how can this be for themselves? It's such a painful thing to do. But then if they truly love the someone, they'll feel worse if they are sad. In dying for someone's case, if they live not being able to save the someone, they'll live their life with sadness forever. If they save them, they get one moment of happyness for being able to save the someone.

In short, everything they do is just to make themselves feel better. If you deny that you think like this, think again. Are you really not like this? If you ask do I think like this I would say I don't know. I did ask myself this question, do I really do things for this? I never get to answer myself. If you call me to say probability, most probably I think like this. Selfish? Maybe. But helping others make me happier than helping myself would make selfish a good thing.

This is just an idea I came up with. I won't insist that it is true I won't even say it's true. It is for you to decide to think it's true or not. But then well, no matter what, one should do what would make them happy. As long as it doesn't affect others negatively, I think we should just do whatever makes us happy. I don't mean you wanna have fun just quit school or quit work and just go play though. Life might continue for much longer. So, we must make sure in the future we can be happy also. Some people might also choose to just stress themselves to the max for years so they can enjoy the rest of the years they have. For people who are suffering but just delay and take no action, time might not solve anything. You gotta take action yourself and not delay. Ok, that's all.

End
-YU-

Exam..exam..exam..

2007-05-19T16:46:00.000+08:00

A lot of people seem to despise exam ar? Actually I kind of love exams wei. It's like just burn some midnight oil, help some people and do the paper. Kind of nice life. Don't need to listen to teacher teach, don't have homework. It's nice lar. Well, maybe for some people the worse part would be getting the result lar. To me it's no big deal. I'm not lan si-ing, please read on. I don't get all good marks lar. I'm not a hardworking person, I can fail anytime also. The thing is, I don't really care. I burned my oil so whatever result I get, oklar.

Next week should be the getting back paper week. I'm eagerly waiting to know my marks. No matter it's A,B,C,D or even Fail I still want to know my marks. It's like betting. Whether you win or lose you still want to know the result right? I mean, that's for me lar. For other people I don't know. But however is your result also, don't be sad or anything like tat. It's just midyear. It's just a test so that the amount of effort you need to put in the end year and next year can be estimated.

Ok, now it's time to lansi abit. Anyone don't want to read about me lansi-ing can skip this paragraph. So, it seems my whole night studying chemistry helps. I got A1. That's a bit unexpected. I expected A2. I'm still eagerly waiting for my add maths paper. Actually I'm a bit scared. If I can't get 90+ I'm so gonna get insulted. If i can't get 80+ I seriously got to hide myself wei. If I get any lower(although it's impossible), I think I won't be able to live with face anymore. But then in the end, comes back to my motto. We must have self-confidence which I do so I'm not really that worried.

Ok, no more lansi edi. Actually ar, for people to call you pro you don't need to be the best or be really pro. You just need to be above average. But then, how only people will call you pro? It's actually very simple. Just make yourself stand out. Make people notice you are above average then people will just think you are pro. But my advice is don't do it too much. Sometimes it's not good being so-called pro. People need help will always find you. So, unless you're prepared for people always find you for help, don't do it. Oklar, that's all.

End
-YU-

Confidence?

2007-05-17T21:38:00.000+08:00

As I've always said, we must have self-confidence. Self-confidence, what is confidence? A feeling of trust (in someone or something). This is 1 definition I can get. Well, actually what I always said is incomplete. Self-confidence, how can you have confidence if you never do the something before or you don't know how to do the something.

Self-confidence won't just come. You have to work for it. Of course things are different if you're a genius but how many genius are there in this world. You think you are one? Think again. As for myself, I'm not a genius. I work for what I want and I trust that my work will help. That's why I have so much self-confidence. You think I have self-confidence in everything? That's wrong. I only have confidence in things I work for.

This post is rather short. I ran out of phylosophies. I'm just holding on to my two mottos right now. I think I'm gonna move away from this topic the coming up posts. Exam is almost over. Just 1 more day to go. I'm gonna do with left hand tomorow. Watch me. Oh, I'm not gonna help people cheat anymore no matter how much anyone begs me.

End
-YU-

Y

2007-05-17T00:16:00.000+08:00

Ok, so as I've said 1 must have 5 hearts(5 sam). It's good to have it but not necessary and having them alone is not enough. But then although I say we should have these 5 hearts but then if it's not living life but it's about love then it's different. It'll become 1 heart instead of 5(dui oi ching yiu yat tiu sam). In the end I'll still just stick to my 2 mottos. Always chill and have self-confidence.

Alright, exam is actually not over yet but people are taking it like it's over. My friends have been going CC and all. Actually, what's wrong with you people ponteng tuition and go CC wei? And worse is people who keep going CC everyday. Please lar, get a life. I don't understand people who keep playing MMORPG wei. GET A LIFE. Stop playing RO, maple or whatever shit game and come back to the real world lar.

Everytime when exam comes I would think. Should I study? Why should I study? What's the point of studying? Actually I don't know. What do I really gain? Actually, I don't gain much. I would gain something called confidence from parents. That way, I won't get scolded for not studying. Actually I did study lar. Not that much only. And I only study after 12 lar. Well, actually study is not only for yourself. It's also for your family. If you fail, they'll lose face. If you get A1, they'll gain face. For your future it's also quite important(I mean if you work for people). During interview, your employer will look at your results. If you fail any subject, you'll definitely get questioned. Unless you can really come up with a super good excuse, if not you'll give a bad impression to the interviewer. Continue from this, if you can't get a job, you'll have no money. If you have a girl, your girl how? You see, something small from now might cause big problems in the future. Why not just put some effort in? Then you won't fail. You happy, teacher happy, parents happy, everyone happy. When taking exams, it's important to have my motto. Chill and have self-confidence. Having these 2, your mind will be able to work better and you will be able to answer questions better. So remember, always chill and have self-confidence.

End.
-YU-

Philosophies of Wai Yew

2007-05-15T21:55:00.000+08:00

Wow. It's been a while since I've last posted. Exam period just make me super lazy. Exercise don’t want to do, blog don’t want to blog, study ler, only after 12. Before 12 damn no mood 1 lor. Alright, I’ve been telling people about my 2 mottos of life. 1 is always chill (jou yan yiu lang jing) another 1 is we must have self-confidence (jou yan yiu yau sun sam). Seriously this motto is great. Living according to this motto just makes me feel so good. In relation to my mottos, there are things that we need to do. You can’t always chill and have self-confidence no matter what right. You got to do something for you to have it.

To chill, there is nothing better to do than just relax yourself. The best way to relax yourself is to just don’t care about anything in this world and just think of nothing. To have self-confidence, what I do is praise myself. People who know me I’m sure you realize I just keep praising and praising myself. It boosts self-confidence. You think I just praise myself for nothing? NO! That’s the wrong idea. It boosts self-confidence. I’m not lan si-ing for fun!

Ok, according to zhi yang, he said I’m too full of self-confidence. According to me, it’s better to have more. At the very least, I won’t worry much. Ok, yesterday the form 1s rearranged the tables of my class (1ix and 4ix share class). It actually isn’t that much of a problem if everyone just cooperated without complaining at all. Ended up my monitor had to shout (well, she always does). In the end, I get pissed off and I shouted. Yes, I shouted. You rarely hear me shout. And yes, I didn’t follow my motto this time. I wasn’t that chilling. But I guess once in a while shouting like that is okay right? I mean, after all I’m the assistant monitor and I haven’t shout you normal student are already shouting. I mean like, what the hell right? I’m the assistant monitor lar =.=. Wait for your turn lar. Hehe. But hei, I think I quite yeng right that time? XD Okok. Enough of self praising. Well, the main point is, even though you have a motto doesn’t mean you have to follow it every single second lar.

Alright, recently my two mottos have upgraded. Thanks to my eldest brother for giving me the idea. Well, this is only good in Chinese(by Chinese I mean all Chinese and not only mandarin). Well, I don’t really know mandarin so I’ll only say it in Cantonese. Yan yiu yau 5 sam. Sun sam(confidence)hang sam(willpower(I think))sin sam(kind hearted) hoi sam(happy) fong sam(chill). How’s that? Cool? Lame? Please give comments.

My over confidence have caused people to have confidence in me. Even cheating people would look for me. I feel so relief all the science and math subjects are over. Helping people cheat days are all over for this exam. I don’t need to fear getting caught anymore (at least I hope not). Well, good thing is people have confidence in me lar.

A person’s life can change when things get into the certain someone’s life. My life kind of changed when a few things came into my life this year. 1 of the very main is add math. It has given me confidence. It has given me a path to walk in life. It has given me an aim. I who did not have interest is now interested in add math and also teaching people. I who used to think of myself as useless has now look high upon myself. It’s amazing how something can change our life. Of course not only things can change one’s life. People can change other’s life too.

Alright, I’ve written quite a lot. Even how much my philosophy make sense, it’s just my thinking. How you lead your life is your choice, your thinking. You think for yourself, you don’t just follow people. If you think my philosophy is lame, please tell me. Lastly, I repeat myself. Praising yourself boosts self-confidence.

End.
-YU-

Exam

2007-04-29T16:41:00.000+08:00

Alright, I've been saying all the non-academic things lately. How about academics? Well, my mid-year exam is just around the corner. It's just next week if I'm not wrong. Well, I've been skipping lessons, dreaming in class and not revising at all. Does that mean I'm gonna GG in my exam? Well, there's 1 more week now. Maybe I can do something maybe I can not.

Well, I'm the so called add maths pro. I do have a certain amount of confidence in my add maths but I think I still need some work if I wanna get A1. Physics I'm moderate actually cause it involves studying which I never did. Chemistry, I totally understand but totally cannot remember. So what can I do? Study. History? Well, nothing to explain, just study.. English, I don't think there's anything to say. Mod maths, it's freaking insulting intelligence but I never listen to the teacher so I guess I'll have to flip the book once. BM and moral, man, these 2 subjects I really scared GG. EST, I don't know. Lastly, accounts. This subject is my most hated subject. Man, I feel like just screw this subject man. Well, I guess I'll hang on to it for a while. Maybe time will change things.

Well, even with some subjects I feel I'll GG, subjects I need to work on and so little time left, I still aim to get top ten in class. Well, that's what you get from the so called genius. Although, I think it's always good to aim high. 1 of my motto is never try never know. In other words, who know's what's possible and what's know? You'll only know if you try. I actually thought of studying early this year. Ended up I'm just so lazy and just do last minute studies. Well, anyone need help in add maths please inform me. Success not guaranteed but well, it's free. Group is preffered but individual might be fine. It depends on wether or not I have time. Alright, I'm off to go teach people now.

End of post.

Acknowledgement?Hope?Incapable?Burden?Emo?

2007-04-28T16:43:00.000+08:00

Alright. As i said in 1 of my previous posts, I wanna be the captain in volleyball and COH in scouts and mayb even some other leaders. Why do people want to get posts actually? Well, I guess for some people would be to abuse their power. Well, what else? For me, I want to get posts because i want to be acknowledged. I wanna be somebody. I don't wanna be a nobody. I want people to recognize me, know me. Of course, just becoming a leader in something because you wanna be acknowledged would make you unfit to be a leader. Like volleyball, I have a passion towards it. Scouts I'm starting to have spirit in it.

Well, however much I want to become a leader. The main things is can I? Is there a hope for me to become a leader? Well, I think that everything has a hope. When there's a will there's a way. It's a very famous quote and also quite true. Of course you don't say like I have a strong will to fly so I'll be able to fly. I mean something more logic lar.

One logic thing would be being capable enough to do something. A person incapable of doing something can be able to do that thing if he has a strong will. A person's capability can be changed. Like a person incapable of leading a group, through training and doing it the person can become a good leader. He might even become the best leader ever existed. I don't know if I'm incapable or capable now, you should tell me, but if I really do get the posts I want, I definitely will change into a leader if I am not one.

Ok, I've said in my 1st paragraph why I wanna get posts. Well, a lot of people will say, "Why wanna get post? Get post got more burden, got less time, get stress. So why?" Well, for me, it won't be a burden cause I feel it's worth it. Less time, yea sure but is time really a problem? Definitely not for me. So what if you have less time? It doesn't matter to me, in fact for some people you can stop thinking cause of no time.

Well, even so, there are a lot of people emo-ing here and there. I guess some reasons would be don't have hope, feel that yourself in incapable, having to much burden or stuffs like that. I actually don't know why people emo. I definitely is a non-emo person. Why? I don't know cause I don't even know what cause people to get emo. Anybody have some words on this? I think it's quite a good topic to talk about. Maybe can stop the emo people from emo-ing.Oklar, I guess it's enough.

End of post.

Purpose of blogging

2007-04-22T13:11:00.000+08:00

What's the purpose of people blogging? Just as a diary? To express out their feeling? To write out facts of their interest? Well, I believe different people have different purpose. My purpose was to write out everything on my mind. But then I realise it's not possible. I am one who needs privacy. I can't just write out everything in my mind. There's just some things I can't post in here. In the end, I'm just posting some part of my life and my ideas of things.

There's alot more I want to write but I won't because there are some people I don't want them to read this. Well, no matter what purpose you blog, I wouldn't say it's a bad thing. I feel that it's best to blog with perfect english as by doing that you can improve your english. Of course if you choose not to it's ok because people do things for a purpose and everything that has a purpose is not wasting time.

For me, blogging is just for self sattisfaction. I feel that it's nice to blog. The good feeling that comes when I'm blogging makes blogging not a waste of time. I'm not blogging to educate people or anything. I'm not qualified to do that. Well, I'm gonna continue blogging eventhough it wouldn't help me in my life.

End of post

Life?

2007-04-21T21:29:00.000+08:00

It's been a week since I last blog edi ar. Man, I love to put question marks ar. Ok, Jun Hsien said my post all very long n all in 1 paragraph not so nice so I'm gonna make it few paragraphs 2day. Alright, life. The very existence of life is a very mysterious thing. How is it that life starts to come about? I don't believe anyone can explain that. Well, I think all religions think that god made life. Maybe it is, maybe it is not. Lets just take it that god made life. But isn't god itself a life? What made god exist then? Nobody knows. I thought about it many times. There was once I thought about an idea which is everything is actually a loop. We actually successfully made a time machine in the future and go back in time to create life itself. Kinda dumb right? Well, who knows it might be true eh?

Well, no point thinking about how we exist. Lets talk about purpose we exist. I guess every person has a reason to live. Some might be to enjoy, some might be to help people, some might be to repay to their parents for bringing them to this world, some might even be to save this world. I believe that everyone has their own destiny. I believe even becoming a beggar can be a destiny. Beggars can make people who give them money feel the satisfaction of helping someone. Of course I'm not calling anyone to be beggar. Not everyone is destined to be boss. If everyone is the boss who's gonna work for them? Everyone has their part to play in this world and every part is also important.

Ok, eventhough I believe everything is destined, I believe a person's way of thinking is also destined. Like if a person think that no matter what, if their destined to be rich they're rich and end up being a beggar or something like that is destined. I personally think that way, so I won't just don't care anything. I believe I'm destined to work towards my destiny. Well, what's my destiny? I don't know. How would I know? I'm not god.

I personally thinks I'm not fit to be a leader now. Saying these words itself is already not what a leader should do. I lack self confidence actually. I fear to fail also. I believe that could be changed though. Although I don't know if I will but who knows eh? Maybe through being a leader I can change to be a good leader? After all, I'm a smart fella who always tells himself that he's a genius. But then again, eventhough I say I'm not fit to be a leader now, I actually want to be a leader. I actually hope I could be captain for volleyball and get into the COH for scouts. I guess I believe I can grow to becoming a good leader doing so. Well, everyone should aim high. That's right but as I said, not everyone can be the leader. So, it's ok not to be a leader but doing your best in what you do is what you should do.

Hmm, cool. 5th paragraph edi. Man, I'm writing essay wei, Oklar, I'll make this my conclusion paragraph. In the end, I'd say everyone should work on their interest or their talent and strive to be the best. That way, eventhough you're not the best in the world, country,state or even area, you're the best of yourself which is the best anyone can do. Alright, that's the end for my post.

End of post.

Love?

2007-04-13T23:28:00.000+08:00

Love. Can love be defined actually? What is love actually. Well, love can be towards friendship, family or your so called other half. Let's talk about the one with the other half. What made people say they love someone? I guess mostly would be feeling lar. At my age, 16, how many people are actually serious? I'd say most of them are not. That does not include me lar. I'm totally serious. Certain people would say they feel like shit if they got rejected, certain people would just wanna know what the other side thinks, certain people will just hide their feelings from everyone, ,certain people wouldn't really mind even the other side doesn't accept him/her. Well, there are more than these I guess but well I wouldn't know. I'm not god. For the ones who feel like shit after getting rejected, yeah you'll feel pain maybe but hei, you love someone doesn't mean you have to couple with them right? For those who wanna know, just ask lar. Oh, if you're the one who is asked, just tell it straight forward sry I don't love you or I love you too. Don't delay things. Don't make them wait and wonder. For those who hide it, come on lar. What good is that gonna do you? Do something. For those who wouldn't really mind, I have nothing to say. Which am I? I won't say. I don't wanna say. Well, love will cause problems. I guess that's true. But at the same time it might also bring happiness. Problems can be solved depending on who are the people. Actually I can write more but about myself so I don't wanna write. My blog will not have those things about me because the blog is public. I still wanna have privacy although I'm writing a blog. That's it lar. End of post.

Genius?(part 2)

2007-04-12T22:58:00.000+08:00

Alright. I feel the title is abit lame. O well, who cares? Just took my 2nd accounts monthly test 2day. I'm quite sure I die edi for the test. Well, I don't really care. Screw accounts, add maths is the thing. Today I went for the chemistry sudoku comp. Man, it's quite dumb. Sudoku but replace numbers with those Fe,H,He all those things. What's the point? Well, I did finish but I'm not really sure did I did everything correct and it took quite some time. There are classes finishing faster than us. How can they be so fast? Genius mer? Oh well, I'll just have 2 wait and see who won. Ok, I keep saying I'm a genius. Why? It's just to give confidence to myself. In life you have to take risks(zul's words) but then you gotta be confident when you take them(my words). I'm definitely no genius. I'd say my IQ is mayb around 115 or somewhere there which is just a little above average. If you say smart then mayb I am lar. I just took an IQ test just now. http://www.highiqsociety.org/iq_tests/ this is the site. Well it says my iq is 112. Average IQ is 100 if i'm not wrong. Genius IQ i think would b at least 120. which makes me non-genius. Well, who needs to be a genius? I'm smart enough, that's enough. Oklar. That's it. End of post.

My birthday

2007-04-09T19:13:00.000+08:00

Great. It's my birthday. And who did I spend my day with? The people around me in class. Thomas after school until 3.30. And then ZL, CS and CL after that for volleyball. My birthday was not really good the past few years. I can't really remember last time what happened but as I remember it wasn't good memories lar. 2 years ago I remember it quite clearly because something happened on that day. Man, that day was damn siong wei. I thought things were fine on that day but the next day I found out it wasn't good at all. Some of you may know what happened some of you may not. Especially Mike. Oh, I won't mention what happened on the net. I'm not gonna reveal my private life man. Alright, lets move on. Last year. It wasn't that bad really. Just that my plan totally fail that's all. Every single girl that I called was busy(I don't know excuse or what but that's what they say) ended up, I called about 7 guys last minute 2 go 1u. Eventhough I used 1 week 2 slowly call a few everyday, none of them could come. Wth right? Alright, lets move on again. Comes to this year. I ended up spending almost my whole day in school. Just came back at 6. Well, nothing bad happened today except raining so cannot really ply volleyball. Things just don't go as we plan it to be lar. I guess it's just on the wrong day. I sure hope next year my birthday could be a good day at least. Oklar. End of post.

Genius

2007-04-06T19:24:00.000+08:00

Right. This year I've been joking that I'm a genius. What is a genius actually? One definition I get is a person with exceptional intellectual power. Some people are just confused about 'genius'. Some people think that a genius knows everything. That's totally wrong. People who knows like almost anything is called knowledgable not genius. A genius can use those knowledge to interpret data but if they don't have the knowledge, they can't do anything. Another thing. genius doesn't mean high IQ. Knowledge is included in IQ and genius doesn't mean knowledgable. But then in case anyone don't know, I don't mean I'm a genius(at least I don't think so lar). I'm just smart. Oh, I got my 1st moral paper back. Guess what? I got 14%. As expected, i suck in moral. That doesn't mean my moral not good. I just don't study. I have perfectly fine moral. Man, I skipped my favourite subject tuition today. I'm gonna have some things I don't know next week. Damn. How am I gonna teach anyone if I don't know? I gotta either try 2 think it out myself or find out somehow. Mid year exam coming soon edi. It's just next month. Man, I wonder how many people are actually ready? I haven't even started revising anything at all. I gotta start soon edi. I don't wanna GG this year. If I can do this then I'll be prooving smart beats hardwork. But then I guess my moral will GG and my BM will be C or something. Oklar. Enough lar. Need to go tuition soon. End of post.

Future

2007-04-03T21:48:00.000+08:00

Ok. How many students of my age has actually thought about their future? I know many who don't have any idea yet. I'm not that much better actually. I often think about it but then I always can't come up with what to study. Recently I've thought about it. I've been thinking of becoming a tutor. Tutor in what? That's right, Mathematic subjects. I just remembered I'm actually very interested playing with numbers. That's why I actually planned to take diploma and degree in math. Then I realise. Local college don't have it. Damn it. Unless I go local uni. But to go local U I need to take pre-U which I don't want to take. Then I think again. Actually I'm also interested in engineering. Mechanical engineering to be exact. Before this year, I wanted to study in KDU because it's near and has sibling discount. Both my brothers study there. But then, their engineering courses aren't so good and they don't even have mechanical engineering course. But then again, there's 2 more years. Maybe things will change by then. Oh well, I haven't really done much research on it yet. I guess I'll spend part of my free times researching about it. Oh, anyway. I'm actually teaching a few people add maths now. Maybe I'll see whether I can really make it my career next time. To all who those who doesn't like add maths. What's wrong with u all? It's the coolest subject ever. I tell you what subject sucks. Account which people call free A. It sucks. I don't think it's because it's hard. It just sucks. The subject sucks enough. Plus Mr.Beh? Ahh. Can die ar. I don't know what's his problem. Aih. I won't hate people lar. I just don't wanna see his stupid face. Oh yah. I actually had a bet with Wei Chun in academics. Whoever gets top 10 in class will punch the other fella everyday in the stomach. Dumb bet right? Man. I may be smart lar but I think I abit overestimated myself beginning this year.Exam is on May. One more month. Can't say long can't say short. Oh well. For me I just want it to faster come and lemme get over with it. And no, not because I think I'm smart. I just don't care. That's why I'm so carefree. Everything don't care oni. Oklar. End of post.

Add Math Test

2007-03-28T22:33:00.000+08:00

Yeah man. The long awaited 2nd monthly add maths test is finally coming near. It's tomorow. Woohoo! I hope the test won't be easy lar. If not no challenge no fun lar. FYI, I'm not lan si-ing... I'm serious... I'm sure there are people who think that way bsides me. I doubt I'll get full marks again lar. Seriously. I might get quite low even. I'm a very careless fella lar. I'm know how to do but I always got some stupid mistake like number write wrong...add and subtract wrongly.. those things. That's why actually I was lucky to get full marks oni lar the previous test. And of course it was because Amara's paper was so damn easy lar. Insulting inteligence. Alright, so as expected, people thinks I'm add maths pro now. I mean I'm good lar, but I don't think I can be called pro yet lar. A few people tell me they want to sit beside me during the test... Well, it doesn't matter to me lar. Not like it's gonna make me bcome stupid or anything like that. Only maybe I finish slower lar. Actually I don't understand why people come to me instead of Jason ar? He got full marks too wert. Maybe I boast more than him lar but he's definitely good. He might even be better than me. But then again, who knows? Maybe this exam will tell who's the better one ar. I hope I can get full marks. Then I can go around lan si-ing again.XP So people, just wait till my results come out and see how i lan si.=) I think I better stop saying this ar. Suddenly I suck in this exam ar. I GG. That time need to find hole and hide edi. Oklar, now I rendah diri abit lar. I'm not that good only lar. I really scared I suddenly get low marks. I don't wanna end up finding myself a hole. Oklar. That's all lar. End of post.

I think I might be a genius?

2007-03-27T21:08:00.000+08:00

Alright. Yea, I did say that I think I might be a genius. Come on, it's just a joke man. You people don't need 2 keep saying I said that right? I do think I'm smart lar but I'm joking that I'm a genius lar. It's been a while since I last posted ar. I don't think anything special happened lar. Maybe there is lar. Something that I won't write out lar. Ok, so I'm writing this post with no specific point actually. I guess I'll just talk about me boasting. Ok, right. So I am a bit lan si at times. Come on, it's very fun to do it. I mean if you have anything to lan si about lar. But then again, I may be good at many things but I don't think I'm best in anything. I'm not even a leader material actually. I think I'm more to an assistant material. Why? Cause I'm indecisive, a coward and an inconfident person. How can someone like that be leader right? Well, actually I think the worse thing is I know what problems I have but I don't do anything to get rid of them. My writing for instance. So damn many teachers have complained. Many people talked about it. But then, I still don't care. What the hell right? Although certain things is not about I want to fix or not. It's about I can or not. Well, nobody is perfect right? So, I won't go much further with this post. I'm not a genius and I won't say I am again(unless I really am) so stop complaining I don't know things when I'm a genius. But then, even if I'm a genius. I don't study, don't read, don't find out thing I also won't know anything right. At least I can figure out how to do certain add maths question before teacher teach me. Oh, it's through logical thinking for your information. That's why I love add maths. You can just think how to solve questions with logic. Alright. People who need me to tutor them add maths. Tell me. I'll try to help you. OK? Alright. But don't get your hopes too high. I have students already and I'm not that free actually although I may look free. Ok. End of post.

Problems?

2007-03-20T21:00:00.000+08:00

Problems. Which person don't have problems? Maybe there is lar but I guess the number would be really small. I believe as long as you have desires, there are problems. of course different people would have different degree of problems. Some will have really big problems, some will have small, some will have a lot, some will have a little. It just differs. Well, a lot of people would think that the world is so unfair. My opinion is that yes, it is just so unfair. But then, there's nothing we can do about it right? We still gotta face our problems. Some people would choose to keep these problems to themselves while other choose to share it with people. Some would share them with their family, some with their friends, some would just share it with some stranger. I think well, it's really better if you share it with others as other people might be able to help you and at least you let it out so I guess a person will feel better. However, don't choose to avoid your problem, it'll just haunt you if you avoid it and you'll suffer from it for a longer time.Problems also come from the way you look at things. Certain people might think that studies is problem. I don't mean studies are useless or anything like that but hei, it's not the end if you really can't do it right. Come on lar, just relax abit lar. Taking it seriously is good but don't make it such way that it becomes a problem to you lar. Next thing people many people have problems with would be love lar. Personally I've never been together with anyone before so I don't know what the problem from being couples, what's the problem with your ex, what if you still love your ex or anything like that. But then I feel, You gotta know yourself right. You must know what you want and just go and work towards it. Just chilling ask for help and just solve the problem. I don't believe there's anything that can't be solved lor. Just don't avoid your problems no matter what. After saying so much, I actually understand that it's very hard sometimes to just go and solve your problems. I guess even after saying so much, I myself can't do anything to solve my own problems. But how also, just try. I guess that's it for now lar.

All about me

2007-03-18T21:40:00.000+08:00

Alright, I decided to write a whole post about me. Well, I didn't really introduce myself. I think I should've done that in the 1st post right? Well, who cares. Ok lets get started.

1st of all would be the identity of me. Let's start with my biodata.

Name: Damian Leong Wai Yew

Age: 16

Birthdate: 9th April 1991

School:SK Taman Sea -> SMK Taman Sea

Alright, I don't know what else is there to write. Oh yea. I am single but then well, I have my locked target so... yea. Ok, A brief description about me. I'm a very shy person especially with girls. I'm quite a quiet person. I'm a poser? Don't know, that's what people say lar. I guess I am kua. People say I act cool also. I seriously don't know is it lar cause well, I've been like that since I'm born, so... I don't know. Well, lets look at some pictures of me I took yesterday.

Ok, this is me posing at my table

And this is another pic of me in my parent's room.

And lastly a pic of me without specs

Do I look better without specs ar? Please comment on that. I seriously wanna know. So after a brief introduction of myself, lets talk about my friends abit. Well, if you call me to name best friends I'd say maybe Han Liang, Terrence, Jun Hsien, Jerrard, Wei Chun. Well, oldest would be Terrence. I've known him for more than 10 years now. If you say group of ppl I hang out with? Sry lar, I don't know myself. I seriously don't know which group I belong to. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Well, you tell me. Alright, you notice I don't go into my love life in this blog eh? That's right, I don't wanna tell the whole world about it. So, yeah you won't hear about it in this blog unless something really serious happen like I get rejected accepted or stuffs like that. OK so, that's it for this post.

Just another day

2007-03-17T04:28:00.000+08:00

Ok, it's quite late already so I guess I'll make this quick and go to sleep. It's 4.30 now anyway. Well, today nothing special happened. Michael and Terrence skipped our tuition again. Physics tuition like normal. Well after that I go yamcha. I actually thought the Kah Ken, Terrence and the others would go yamcha but well, they didn't so ended up I went with Brandon lor. Caely and Kar Mun was there and well, I went and sit with them. I did plan to SI to their table all along but I don't think Kar Mun and Brandon expected lar. But I don't know, mayb they did. Well, things were kinda quiet. You know me lar, very quiet especially with girls. Well, nothing much happened. Caely left 1st, the Kar Mun then Brandon. As usual, I'm the last. I'm always the last. Why? Cause I call only when everyone is gonna leave. See, I'm such a good person. I teman everyone until they go home. Oh by the way, you notice my blog name is Y U Blog right. As you know, a lot of people write why as Y and you as U and alot of people write my name as YU also. So, my blog title can mean "Y U Blog?" or Y U Blog(Wai Yew Blog). See how cool is my name. But then however cool is your name if you're not cool, you're still not cool. Of course if possible both is cool like me then that'll be the best lar. XP. Ok that's all. Sleepy liao. End of post no.5